gratitude 7

I am grateful

1) I have two working arms bc it is really hard when I have to do things with only one while the other is busy with Peter

2) I am grateful for my local friend

3) that despite being up from 1:30-4:00 this morning I have had a lot of good energy today.

4) that Matthew will get paid again before rent is due and it will be just enough to cover the check

5) the area we may move to has a really good band program even though it may not start until seventh grade

6) for the internet that makes being dairy free not too hard, plus I've lost six pounds in the almost two weeks I've been off it

gratitude 6

I am so thankful

1) I feel better than I did yesterday. I spent the morning fighting nausea and by mid-day had aches and chills. Spent the afternoon in bed. This morning I had a little bit of nausea and a stomach-ache this evening but overall feel pretty good and energetic.

2) I had the energy to clean the bathroom and kitchen today. The bathroom REALLY needed it.

3) that a neighbor called this morning asking me to take her grandsons to school. It is the quickest Jared has moved to get ready in a long time. The were actually at school before the bell rang!

gratitude 5

I am thankful today that

1) the skirt I acquisitioned from mom when I was a youth from when she was younger could be buttoned again.

2) when I started to sing the song I have been teaching in primary both boys joined in and knew the words.

3) Peter slept through primary and is now entertaining himself nicely in his bed while I write this. Last night he even fell back asleep when I laid him down without needing to be nursed again for awhile. In fact, he looked up at me, smiled, hammered jabbered something then placed his head on my arm and went to sleep!

gratitude 4

I am so grateful that

1) There are group of good boys for Jared nearby, and
2) they can walk home from school together, and
3) Aaron plays with them too.

I don't want Jared to lose this opportunity. I really hope we can find a way to not have to move from the area anytime soon.

gratitude 3

Today I am thankful for

1) Matthew changing the light bulbs for me.
2) Jared giving Aaron his coat b/c it was cold and raining and Aaron didn't have his.
3) Peter's diaper rash is just about gone after a day of no dairy.
4) The possibility of a new opportunity at Matthew's work to be promoted to the defense side of his job - a promotion and exactly the kind of work he wants.
5) Shelter and warmth
6) food options despite having to eliminate dairy

gratitude 2

Today I am grateful for

1) how helpful Jared is

2) despite how busy he is, Matthew came home from work as quick as he could and made dinner for us since it is trumpet lesson night

3) I have a friend

gratitude

I am way behind on updates, but this will be my offering for now - an attempt at naming three things I am thankful for each day.

 1) being able to have time with Matthew this morning

2) beautiful spring-like weather that feeds my happy endorphins

3) two days in a row I have been able to comfort Peter while driving in the car by holding his hand and singing to him. There is nothing quite like hearing him sigh in contentment from the sound of your voice.

----
Bonus

Jared was chosen as student of the month in his class for December.
The power going out while at the store so I couldn't spend money.
How much the boys love Peter

So Long

(Written Friday, September 18)

I'm not sure where to start.. I guess the sum of it is that we are indeed not returning to New Jersey any time soon, if at all. Matthew's orders end this month but it was his unit's intent to extend his orders for as long as they could. Unfortunately he failed his PT test last month and they had to put them on hold. The good news out of that is he started physical therapy for the shin splints that have plagued him for the last 10 years.

The other side effect was an intense effort to find a new job locally. He applied to several government positions and last week we started hearing back that he qualified but we hadn't actually started the interview process. There was one in particular he decided to go ahead and apply for that had a rather tedious application process, but it turned out to be worth it. Early this morning the phone rang offering him the job. They have requested he takes two days of leave for the dates that would overlap so he could start on the 29th. The position is as a unit administrator for a subordinate group two grades before the command he is currently working for. It is just enough grades down that he will be able to continue drilling with his current unit. Aside from paralegal, this is the job he had been waiting for. It seems we have "arrived."

One of the results of this job change is that we well say goodbye to Tricare. It has been good to us.

Week 2 weigh in

Start - 196.7
Week 1 - 194.2
Week 2 - 193.8

Another loss! It wasn't much, but this was a hard week and better than nothing. I had a lot of cravings besides the fact we had family in town. Amazingly, today I had 67 calories at the end of the day plus the 500 for nursing. We did the 2 mile walk around the neighborhood and then I did a bunch of shopping so I racked up quite the calorie burn. In fact, this was the best I've done with the fitbit and my step count. I was headed for bed and decided to check my steps and I was just 300 shy of 10K, so I decided to walk back and forth through the house until I reached my goal. Yay  me!

I feel ready to start the C25K again. It seems I started quite the trend in NJ when I made LC my running buddy. She's been going full speed since I quit and has even motivated MP. Now RV has decided she wants to do it too. I told her she could be my buddy. She's going to start on Thurs. I'd like to start tomorrow, but I don't have a phone that can run the app or play list. I'm on a mission to find my Dad's. Getting a smartphone has become an obsession almost.

And over the last week I can tell that walking has totally turned my PPD around. I feel so much more like my old self. It's nice. Things that would have been totally overwhelming now seem like no big deal (like opening up a closet door). Amazing what a bit of exercise and friendshipping does for me!

Week 1 weigh in

Start - 196.7
Week 1 - 194.2

2.5 pounds down! Woohoo!

Yesterday we walked 2 miles for about 45 min. It was raining and hailing this morning so we didn't go today though I still have plans to do something. For the moment I am cleaning house in prep for a visit from Matthew's sister and bro in law tomorrow.

Do - Overs

From the Institute manual -

Elder Henry B. Eyring of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles commented on his experience years before teaching Hosea to his early morning seminary classes:

“The book of Hosea, like the writings of Isaiah, uses what seem to me almost poetic images. The symbols in Hosea are a husband, his bride, her betrayal, and a test of marriage covenants almost beyond comprehension. … Here are the fierce words of the husband, spoken after his wife has betrayed him in adultery: [Hosea 2:6–7].

“He goes on (through verse 13) to describe the punishment she deserves, and then comes a remarkable change in the verse that follows. … : [Hosea 2:14–15, 19–23].

“At that early point in the story, in just two chapters, even my youngest students knew that the husband was a metaphor for Jehovah, Jesus Christ. And they knew that the wife represented his covenant people, Israel, who had gone after strange gods. They understood that the Lord was teaching them, through this metaphor, an important principle. Even though those with whom he has covenanted may be horribly unfaithful to him, he would not divorce them if they would only turn back to him with full purpose of heart.

“I knew that too, but even more than that, I felt something. I had a new feeling about what it means to make a covenant with the Lord. All my life I had heard explanations of covenants as being like a contract, an agreement where one person agrees to do something and the other agrees to do something else in return.

“For more reasons than I can explain, during those days teaching Hosea, I felt something new, something more powerful. This was not a story about a business deal between partners, nor about business law. … This was a love story. This was a story of a marriage covenant bound by love, by steadfast love. What I felt then, and it has increased over the years, was that the Lord, with whom I am blessed to have made covenants, loves me, and you, … with a steadfastness about which I continually marvel and which I want with all my heart to emulate” (Covenants and Sacrifice [address to religious educators, 15 Aug. 1995], pp. 1–2).

I am grateful the Lord believes in do-overs. I know that words have great power - for good or ill. I often fail in the parenting department - especially as my boys get older and we butt heads more often. 

This morning I was focused on preparing my singing time and was stressed to get it finished. Jared came in to tell me how hungry he was and my basic reaction was to tell him (in a not very kind voice), 'I'm sorry. I warned you last night. Go shower we are in a hurry.' At the end of the conversation he walked off crying. He did go to the bathroom, but nothing was happening. As I thought about the exchange, I realized I wasn't very compassionate. I finished up what I was doing and knocked on the bathroom door to try talk to him. He wasn't very responsive at first. It wasn't until I told him I wanted a do-over that he let me in (since he was still dressed and hadn't made any progress towards showering). I apologized for not being very compassionate and asked for a do-over. He complied, so we started the conversation over. I had to prompt him ;) This time when he told he was hungry, I put my arm around him and my response in a much softer voice was, "I know you are hungry. Today is fast Sunday. You are old enough to choose for yourself whether you will fast or not. You can make that choice yourself, but if you choose to eat, you need to hurry and shower so you will have time. We need to leave in 20 minutes. You can think about it while you are in the shower and decide what you want to do. Ok?" He said ok and a few minutes later the shower was going. Ultimately he chose to fast, but the important part was that our relationship was strengthened instead of strained, and I gave him the power over his situation. 

While Jared was off doing his thing, Aaron was asking me what he was good at (a result of a brief conversation last night when I highlighted that Jared was awesome at taking care of Peter. Aaron was seeking validation of his Peter skills). I told him I'd tell him the list after he got ready for church. He quickly complied and I shared his list over breakfast:

'You're good at being helpful, quickly obeying, thinking of others, being a friend, reading the scriptures and remembering the stories, being affectionate, giving hugs' (There were a few more I mentioned and he thought of some himself too)

I think he was floating on happy thoughts after that. He was really good at church and extra affectionate in a peaceful contented sort of way. In fact, he even decided to share his testimony during sacrament mtg today. When he told me he wanted to go up there, I told him that a testimony is sharing what you believe. He thought about it for a moment. We have been focusing on the temple in our Family Home Evening lessons the last few weeks as we prepare for the Ogden Temple dedication, so his thoughts were about the temple. He told me he knew what he'd say, and I had him rehearse it with me. With a little direction from me (like don't mention the trip to Sonic), he shared that 'We went to the temple as a family the other day, and I know the temple is a blessing. I believe the temple is the house of God. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen." He was really nervous and asked me to go up there with him. I was happy to oblige and hold his hand. He couldn't remember what he was going to say once he got in front of the microphone, but he did pretty good for a first timer :) I was pleased he took that initiative. When we got back to our seats he told me he felt so happy and that he couldn't wait to share his testimony again next week. He was disappointed to learn that he wouldn't get to because it is a regular Sunday, but fortunately he gets to give the talk in Primary so he could do it there. 

When we got home I told Jared how proud I was that he made the decision to fast even though he really wanted to eat. Aaron asked if I was proud of him for sharing his testimony before I got a chance to say it. I told him, yes I am. He told me that when one of the other Primary children got up to bare her testimony he thought, if she could do it, I can. He thought maybe there was an age restriction since there has been a lot of talk of that with the temple dedication. I told him, nope. The only requirement is that you can share your beliefs without help. 

The rest of the day the boys have played so well together. It has been music to my ears. So many of our moments lately have been of Jared taunting Aaron. It is exhausting, but I recognize that the way I respond makes the difference. Today they were both validated and built up and peace reigned.

1. 1. Let us oft speak kind words to each other
   At home or where'er we may be;
   Like the warblings of birds on the heather,
   The tones will be welcome and free.
   They'll gladden the heart that's repining,
   Give courage and hope from above,
   And where the dark clouds hide the shining,
   Let in the bright sunlight of love.
2. (Chorus)
   Oh, the kind words we give shall in memory live
   And sunshine forever impart.
   Let us oft speak kind words to each other;
   Kind words are sweet tones of the heart.
3. 2. Like the sunbeams of morn on the mountains,
   The soul they awake to good cheer;
   Like the murmur of cool, pleasant fountains,
   They fall in sweet cadences near.
   Let's oft, then, in kindly toned voices,
   Our mutual friendship renew,
   Till heart meets with heart and rejoices
   In friendship that ever is true.
4. 1. Text: Joseph L. Townsend, 1849-1942
      Music: Ebenezer Beesley, 1840-1906

Caloric Balancing Act

Today was day 2 of walking the neighborhood. It was just me and another gal with a new baby. I've been wanting to hang out with her, so it worked out really well to be just the two of us. We went the route we meant to go yesterday and still managed to do it in about 30 minutes. I felt really good afterwards and tried to not sit down as much when I got home. I was better than yesterday, but not perfect. I did get two loads of laundry folded which is good. And tonight I was even able to go on a bike ride with the boys. I keep getting the reminder that my legs are not in as good a shape as they were last summer, but I didn't do too bad. I couldn't make it up any hills but by the end of our trip around the complex I was feeling a lot stronger. If only I can keep it up... Though I think I will be able to because I've committed the group to walking every week day.

My big dilemma is how much do I account for nursing and still lose weight. I've read a bunch of articles tonight and I should add 500 calories for nursing. In fact, I am seeing that my caloric intake should be between 2200 and 2500. I was thinking 1800-2000. I like that I can eat that much more, but what I can't figure out is how I gained all my baby weight back after delivery if I really should be eating more. I think the stress was causing me to hold on to it - although I was probably averaging closer to 3000 + on my roadtrip so that may have been a culprit as well. I am curious what the scales will reflect on Monday. I don't want to eat too many calories, but I don't want to eat too few and lose my milk supply either. It is a fine line and an experiment. The ironic/funny thing is that once I knew I had an extra load of calories my body says it's hungry. It had felt just fine before that :p

Breaking Out - Lettuce Eat Cake 2014

After some discussion with my friend Julie, we decided to startup the Lettuce Eat Cake contest now instead of in January. We both desperately needed some motivation now. The contest started Tues morning. I was not really mentally ready to start, but did it anyway.

Starting Weigh in - 196.7

I bought a fitbit one on Tues to help me keep track of how active I really am being. Yesterday I walked a whopping 2K steps (the goal is 10k), but my hope is that I will get better. In fact, I finally reached out to people to see if anyone wanted to walk with me. I got a decent response and this morning was our first excursion.

We met at the church parking lot at 9 am and then walked the neighborhood. I mapped a route last night, but we ended up getting a little lost. It worked out well in the end though because we went even farther than I'd marked. My legs were even burning a bit by the time we got back. The pace was decent and I certainly worked up a sweat. Here's the final stats:

Distance - 1.8 miles
Time - 36 minutes
Pace - 2.9 mph

We decided we'd meet every day with the expectation that not everyone would be there every day. Today's weather was just right and with the fall season approaching this may be a really good time to start.

The exercise and socializing was just what I needed :)

Musings

I have not exercised since my CardioX stint. I think my emotional well-being is tied in to that as well because it hasn't been as good as it had the week before when I was being active. The good news is that the Lettuce Eat Cake contest is being resurrected starting Monday. Maybe that will help with the motivation, though I know the heart of it is that I need exercise buddies. I need someone to exercise with and be accountable to. Someone within my ward boundaries. I need friends in my ward. I feel cut off from everyone, but I recognize that it is only in my head. I just need to do my part to reach out to them. In my analyzing of my NJ experience, I was reminded that I went through this there as well in the beginning. Reaching out to people made a huge difference. At least in NJ there was an email sent out every week so there was at least some way to communicate with everyone. Here there is nothing - no facebook friends, no email list. I have debated sending out a mass email suggesting a walking group but have wondered at the appropriateness of it.

And then of course I wonder if it is worth the effort when I don't know how much longer we will be here. Our lease ends Oct 30 and Matthew's orders end Sept 30th. He failed the PT test due to shin splints so he is flagged and the intended 90 day orders can no longer be given to him until he passes a mid-Oct PT test. He's been going to physical therapy and getting help, but the timing is so tricky. We got a notice from the apartment complex about our lease ending and needing notice by the end of September our intent to renew or by the 1st if we are not. The month to month option is a $300 increase in our rent, though either way our rent will be increasing by $100 if we renew with a 9 - 12 month lease. Since Matthew is flagged, they are going to put him on AT orders for the month of October and then if he passes his PT test they'll give him the 90 day orders which brings us through January. And then what? That's only 4 months - no lease option there. Do we go ahead and sign another 6 month lease (which cost they did not enumerate in the letter)? I feel at such a loss. It finally occurred to me today that the answer I seek would come through prayer.  I am ashamed to admit that it took this long to realize that :/

In other thoughts, Peter is 2 calendar months old today. I am enjoying getting to know him. I can tell when he is excited not by his smiles b/c they are still kind of rare, but by the way he grunts and fidgets. One of his favorite things to do is practice standing. He will grip our thumbs and we can say "stand up" or "sit down" or "sit up" and he will tense his muscles and pull himself into whatever position. He prefers to be in an upright position and will often try to sit up when I lay him down on his back propped up. Today he was especially intent on practicing standing. I loved watching the determination on his face as he not only stood up, but then would pick up a foot and place it back down. It was taking a lot of effort and he got upset that his body tired so easily. I just kissed him and told them I knew his body couldn't do everything his spirit could do, but it would get there. His determination and perseverance is inspiring. As I think about all the strengthening his muscles have to do to get from one stage to the next (rolling, sitting, crawling, standing, pulling up, and finally walking) and the time it takes to get there, reminds me that obtaining my own goals takes time (and determination) as well.

Sometimes I have a hard time believing he is still so young because he's gotten so chunky and his spirit is so robust. I am thankful he is part of our family.

Experimenting

I have been toying with the idea of purchasing coconut oil for its myriad of uses for awhile but due its expense have been gun shy. This last week Sprouts had a BOGO free deal so I went ahead and pulled the trigger.

My number one use of interest was oil pulling. So, I used just a small amount last night and pulled for about 5 -10 minutes before brushing my teeth and then did it again this morning with a larger amount for 20 min. I should took a start picture to see if there is any difference. On one hand my mouth did feel cleaner this morning, but my sensitive teeth feel a bit like they are on alert though they don't hurt.

I have also read it makes a great facial cleanser so I put some on my face yesterday and today. I think that regiment needs tweaked but my face does feel softer.

I have been meaning to start doing my green smoothies again and I had a small bunch of spinach leftover from a recipe so I decided to go ahead and make one yesterday as a mid-morning snack. I dropped a tablespoon of coconut oil in it. There was just a hint of coconut flavor and it was pretty good. I really enjoy the flavor of my green smoothies and my body said Ahhh as I drank it.

Supposedly two of the benefits of coconut oil is increased energy and weight loss (keeps you full longer and has good fat). I am not sure that the coconut oil itself made a difference, but this morning I woke up at 5 to feed Peter and go to the bathroom. After changing his diaper I found myself feeling quite alert. I laid in bed debating getting up for the morning and exercising. After about 45 minutes I decided to get up. I made Matthew's lunch while I swished the coconut oil and debated whether I really wanted to start my day with CardioX or something a little more tame since I am just starting back into things. I chose Cardio X. And survived.

I modified where I needed to because I didn't want to go all out and then be so sore I wouldn't do it again or be able to function. For the most part it went well, but I really felt my muscles when I finished the Steam Engine which is at the end of the program. It is basically standing crunches. Youch! Peter woke up the last little bit but I was close enough to the cool down that I didn't stop. Now that it is the end of the day I'm feeling a lot more than just my hamstrings. Everything is going to be so sore tomorrow. I did a lot of sitting today with Peter so I wasn't able to keep my muscles warm and limber. Oh well....

I feel like I've been in much better control of my eating today and wasn't as hungry or bottomless pit as I have been. Maybe it is the exercise, maybe it is the coconut oil, maybe it is the smoothie, or maybe it is a combination. I did eat some things I shouldn't have but I didn't do it with a feeling of lack of control, if that makes sense.

On to something

Matthew rejoined Weight Watchers and his interest in activity and food intake has helped me take a little bit more control of my own actions. Earlier this summer I paid for lifetime membership on sister sites Menu Mom and www.MenuPlanningCentral.com which gives me access to ebooks with all kinds of recipes as well as weekly meal plans. I have access to all the meal plans (family friendly, frugal, vegetarian, and healthy) but I opted to go with the healthy one this week because it had the best variety and includes nutritional info as well as the recipe which would be beneficial for Matthew. I am hoping that having a meal plan will help reign in the grocery spending as well.

For my birthday my MIL gave me a Fitbit Flex, but since I was basically sedentary I let Matthew use it. At this point I should get a new one for me. They are on sale through AAFES and was going to pick one up on Thurs but noticed the Fitbit One was the same price. I decided I needed to do some research and decide which one I really want. I wished I had it today though because I have definitely been active!

Since being in TX I have felt the itch to replace my bike. It needed new tubes and tires but I couldn't get the tires off. I took it to a bike shop to pay them to do it earlier this summer only to discover that they wouldn't b/c of the type of rims. Basically they deemed the bike unsafe. :/ So I have been in the market for a new bike ever since. I found one on Ft Sam I really liked but not getting. I wished I'd have at least written down its info so I could find it again. I was hoping that Hill AFB would carry the same ones but it didn't. Oh well...

At my 6 wks check the midwife prescribed at least 20 minutes (preferably an hour) of outside activity every day to help me feel better. Friday ended up being a magical kind of day and I finally captured that feeling of last year's summer. I went swimming! It felt so good! In the evening I took Matthew's bike and the boys and I rode around the block. Man are my legs out of shape! Saturday I rode the same route again. I only swam about 20 minutes the day before, but my muscles were still pretty sore.

So my research for the fitbit seems to have subconsciously spurred my willingness to be active b/c this morning I wanted to take the boys on a ride to the school. I pushed the stroller and they rode bikes. Aaron needed the practice too if he is going to ride to school. We have a week to get into shape! The school is about a mile away. It took about 20 minutes for me to walk each way. I had flashbacks to last summer the entire time. The difference was that I was walking and not running or riding. It was nerve wracking not being able to be as fast as the boys with Aaron being such a novice at the bike (sans training wheels). Once we got to the school they practiced locking their bikes and then we headed to the play ground. We were there about 45 minutes and then I attempted to herd them home. Again I thought about last summer.

I realized that Jared was as much a novice bike rider last summer after returning from TX as Aaron is. I didn't have my bike until we got back either which means that all that bike riding happened the last 3-4 weeks of summer. Granted our school starts earlier, but we are in the same place as last year. The difference is we have Matthew around in the evenings and Peter dictating when and how I can participate in activities. Anyway, as the boys were riding around the playground I realized we spent a lot of time on our bikes last summer in a business parking lot. It was a large space where we could perfect our skills. Although we have the apartment roads, it just isn't the same because you always have to watch out for cars. There isn't the element of freedom.

As I watched the boys ride ahead of me on the playground and I wished I could be as fast as them - either by chasing them on my bike or running after them, I think I finally understood the feeling of last summer I have been trying to capture: empowerment. Last summer was empowering. It seems a shame that we are on the last week of summer and I finally found what I was looking for.

Indulgence

Today was my 6 wks postpartum appointment with the midwives. Can you believe it has been that long already?!

My roadtrip ended up lasting a lot longer than originally anticipated. We decided to go on to TX from NM and we didn't return until last night. It was nice but exhausting. And totally indulgent.

Indulgence - I think that about sums the last 6 weeks.

At my last appt with the midwives before Peter was born, my weight was 203. Today it was 198.6. I did not weigh myself until my trip through NM, but I can tell you that about 8 of those pounds were found in the last two weeks. At 2 wks pp my pants were pretty lose and I could probably have fit in my pre-pregnancy clothes. At this point, I am not sure I have any besides the one pair of maternity shorts I wear every day. It is ridiculous the amount of weight I have gained since Peter was born, but since the Friday after I got home I have been a bottomless pit.

People will say that it is ok to eat more because I am nursing, but the reality is that there is an appropriate burning to consumption caloric intake ratio and the consumption scale is on the heavy side right now. The good news is that life will be able to resume/take on a more realistic normal as we leave the vacation life behind and prepare for the start of school. It is my hope that I can get back into meal planning and an active lifestyle.

Roadtripping It

Written Mon, July 28th (Unfinished entry)

One of my hopes/goals when we moved to UT was to visit my Gma in New Mexico. Though I did get to see her for my bro’s wedding in 2012, I haven’t been to her house since 2010. Despite her history of great health, she is getting older and having more issues. It’s been important to me to get out and see her. Since Mom was in town, I thought it would be a good time to coordinate a trip. We left Saturday afternoon and pulled up at midnight.

The boys did pretty well – all of them really. We rearranged the seating in the car so that Jared was in the front with Peter. I really enjoy watching the two of them together! As long as Jared can stay nice to him, there is a potential for them to be inseparable as Peter grows.

It had been our intent to leave at 9 am Saturday morning, but Murphy’s Law got in the way. We celebrated Genevieve’s 1^st birthday that evening and had planned on staying at the church to light fireworks. All the family left though and we didn’t feel good about staying by ourselves and doing it in the church parking lot. So then we were going to do it in the nearby park but it was full of people. I needed to make a run to Smith’s for milk so we stopped there while Aaron and I went inside and grabbed some things. By then it was well after 9 so we debated our plan. We decided I’d stay home with Peter and pack while Matthew took the boys on to wherever and shoot off fireworks. Great plan. I spent most of my time feeding Peter, but I did get all the laundry rotated so I could pack. I had just started feeding him again when I got a call from Matthew asking for help because the van’s battery was dead. It was not quite 11 at this point. I warned him it would be awhile before I could get to him, but I’d be able to use the car seat in the truck so I could go and give him a jump. Thirty minutes later I could head out. I didn’t have a key to the house because it’s with my van key which was with Matthew. When I was dropped off at home he’d offered his keys, but I saw no point in taking them because I wasn’t going to go anywhere. Ha ha. I had been reading Shannon Hales’ The Goose Girl on my Kindle while feeding Peter but purposefully left it and the diaper bag because it was going to be a quick turnaround.

They had ended up in a park that we couldn’t find an entrance to last time we tried in the dark, so it took a couple of tries to find it this time too. Thankfully I could at least have Matthew talk me through it while I was driving and found it. They managed to find a really dark park :p I pulled up to the van and Matthew got the cables all attached. We let the truck run for a bit and tried to start the van. Nothing. We ended up trying for a good 30 minutes or so. We were ready to give up when Matthew decided to try a cold start. He unhooked the cables to the truck battery and attached the jumper cables. Nope. By this point all power my van did have was completely gone and we were making plans to purchase a new battery. I suggested calling roadside assistance but Matthew wanted to just go home. The plan was for me to take Jared and Aaron to the house and then come back for Peter and Matthew. I got the two boys loaded into the truck and it wouldn’t start. Matthew wasn’t able to get the cables back on well enough for it to start. Road side assistance was our only option at that point. It was about 12:30 by then. Aaron fell asleep in the truck while I was on the phone with them. ETA was another 45 minutes. We all piled into the van, locked all the doors and tried to rest until help arrived. Peter woke up just as the Rescue Ranger guy was just about there at 1:45. He was able to jump start both cars in a blink! He’d popped Matthew’s cables into place and charged it right up!

I’d texted Mom while we were waiting to let her know that I wouldn’t be ready by 9. She was staying at Mike’s house and was going to be dropped off at 6 am when Dad headed to the airport. We got home after 2 by the time all the paperwork was done. We’d just walked in the door and gotten the boys settled when Mom texted me back asking if we were still stuck. I had sat down to feed Peter some more and txted back and forth with her before we finally went to bed sometime after 3.  What a night!! My new goal for leaving was noon.

Amazingly I woke up just before 6:30 and Mom hadn’t arrived yet. I unlocked a door and sent her a txt to let her know then went back to bed. I woke up about 9:30 to Aaron screaming at Jared to stop.  Ugh. I came down the hall quite grumpy. I was surprised to see Mom there because I hadn’t heard her come in at all though it turns out she’d gotten there right after I went back to bed. They were just pulling into the complex when I sent the txt. She laid down on the floor and fell asleep until the boys got up.

We spent the next few hours folding laundry and packing. Matthew helped load the car. About 12:30 we were mostly ready but Peter was also ready to eat so I sat down to feed him really well in hopes we wouldn’t have to stop any time soon. And by now everyone else was hungry too so Mom made sandwiches for us. It was almost 2 when we finally got in the car. We got gas and were officially on our way.

We were two hours down the road approaching Price when we got a potty break request as well as a “feed me” from Peter. We decided to stop at Arby’s for an early dinner. We ended up with a TWO (2)!! HOUR break. I had been the one driving but by the time we were ready to get back in the car I was really tired so Mom drove. It had been my intent to sleep but once we got going we started talking and I didn’t feel so tired any more. We stopped again near Moab. Peter had fallen asleep recently so I’d hoped we could make it a quick potty stop and move on but having to go in shifts made it so by the time second shift came back Peter’s diaper needed changed and he was ready to eat. There were things the boys wanted to explore so it gave them a chance to stretch their legs. That stop was only 45 minutes. Peter could have eaten longer but I decided he was satisfied enough that if he wanted more he could have a bottle. My hope was that he’d go back to sleep quickly. Jared ended up giving him a bottle.  

We hit the half way point and I started losing track of time. The boys were starting to get bored so I put in an audio book. A couple of chapters in and I fell asleep. We stopped at a 7/11 in Shiprock about 10:30. It was a repeat of our last stop except when I tried to use their restroom they’d just finished cleaning it and wouldn’t let me because they were about to close. We were close enough to our destination it wasn’t a big deal but a little irritating. Not much later we arrived into town and stopped at Wal-mart for an air mattress. We pulled into Gma’s right at midnight.

Peter had gotten pretty upset at WM b/c he wanted to eat but that didn’t stop Gma from wanting to hold him when we got inside J It was tender watching her with him. By the time we got everything in, settled with beds made and in them it was after 2 again. I was so tired!

When I finally got up it was about 9:30, and I was glad to hear church didn’t start until 1. We had a nice leisurely morning and managed to all be ready and out the door by 12:55. We arrived during the opening song. I was surprised that Aaron wanted to stay for Primary, but it was our intent to leave after Sacrament mtg. We were headed out the door when I spotted my San Marcos Institute Director’s wife in the hallway. I was so excited to see her! I had wondered if I would get to see them while I was in town. She was talking to someone in the hall so I waited stood by her and waited for the conversation to end when I said her name. She turned around to see me, and then she really saw me and her face lit with recognition. I just about lost it while I hugged her. We had a nice visit with hopes of another one at their home before I leave town. 

expectations

I should be sleeping. I was tired before I went to bed. My mind is wandering. The crickets are singing outside my window and I realized they help it feel like summer. I haven't seen any lightening bugs here. They were part of what made last summer feel so magical. Last summer was filled with catching fireflies, biking, swimming, eating farm fresh produce, road trips, and happiness. I have tried to recreate a similar experience this year, but it just isn't living up to my expectations.

Aaron learned how to ride a bike yesterday. He still needs help getting started but his stamina is increasing, and I have been itching to get out and be active again so tonight the boys and I went for a walk around the complex. I pushed Peter in the stroller while they rode their bikes. It took us about a half hour. It was just right. It felt so good to be moving. I am pretty sure I have gained back any weight I lost by having Peter. Too many sweets in the house since his birth. It will be hard to wean myself off all the sugar.

The boys have been amazing with Peter. This morning Jared told me he can hardly believe that something so small and so cute is part of our family :)

Introducing the Frog Prince

Peter S. B. was born Mon, June 30, 2014 at 8:10 am. He weighed 7 lbs 5.6 oz and is 20.5 in long. I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience.