We're Pregnant!

Kinda.


Not Really.


Well, we WERE growing a baby, but it died 3 weeks ago. I'm in the very early stages of labor. As much as I actually love the experience of childbirth, I dread miscarriage labor and delivery. It's a different kind of beast. There's something beautiful and empowering about feeling your body and baby work together to bring life to the world. It isn't really pain to me. But the cramps and labor of death is lonely, heartbreaking, and painful.

It was a miraculous conception and one that was unexpected. From the moment I found out and wrapped my head around it, I wanted to start texting people that our 'insurance' (not giving away all our baby stuff before our move) didn't work. That was the first sign to me that we would probably lose this one. And then there was the spotting the weekend after I got sick. That was the second clue. I've only spotted on the babies I've lost. I thought I'd requested a blessing. Twice. But apparently I didn't communicate it clearly enough. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe not. We decided to tell the Boys early on so that if we did lose the baby, they wouldn't receive two shocks at once. J was not surprised with the news. A missed the announcement. P....oh P...... I have a story about him...

A friend gave birth to a beautiful little boy right before we moved and a picture of him popped up on Facebook one morning. P saw his little face and said, "I want one of those!" I asked him if he wanted a girl baby or a boy baby. He thought for a moment, then said, "A girl." I verified he wanted a sister, not a brother. I affirmed that maybe we'll get a sister this time. I kept scrolling through FB and an ad with a cute little girl came up. He made me stop, and said "That one! I want that sister!" I laughed and said, we have to wait for baby to get big enough before she comes. Off and on throughout the day he talked about the sister that was going to come. I'd have to tell him we had to wait and let her get big enough to come home. As soon as J walked in the door from school, P excitedly told him, "We're buying a sister!" lol For several days P would talk about the sister. He was disappointed when I explained it would be a baby sister first. He wanted a girl to play with. He really misses his playmates. Then one day he grumpily said, "I don't want a sister anymore." And that was the last he spoke of her.

Everyone's life goes on and the fact that I'm pregnant is not knowledge that affects their world, only mine. I was tired. When you're trying to unpack and settle in a new home, it's hard being tired and not feeling your best. I'd nap in the afternoons and fall asleep at 9:30pm. After my sickness (maybe the flu?), I gradually started feeling better. I changed my diet and cut out sugar and most refined carbs. I noticed I had more energy and wasn't dying so early in the evening. It made me wonder. 

From the beginning I prayed for strength. Strength to raise another child or strength to endure the miscarriage. My first dr's appointment was no secret, and the date loomed at me. But it really meant nothing to everyone else. One of the worst feelings is laying down on the exam table waiting to hear or see a heartbeat. The days that stretched before the appointment, I tried not to worry. The anxiety was overwhelming before P's first appointment and it made for a very difficult family life. I didn't want that again. But a few day before the appointment, the anxiety crept in. By Friday morning, I was quite emotional. I asked for another blessing. This time more explicitly. Timing was bad. It wasn't a priority, so I texted some close friends and they were my prayer warriors. I received some strength from JG especially as she passed along this msg from her prayer (Bc I didn't give her specifics, only that I had a dr's appt I was anxious about, she was getting freaked out by all the possibilities) "He just told me to get ahold of myself. He said you know I'm a good daddy and love her. I've got this!" Immediately lyrics from the song "Good Father" came to mind... "he's a good, good father" and something about him knowing me. Over and over they played as I dropped P off and drove to my appt.



This office does an ultrasound first and then a checkup. Wise. The technician couldn't get a good view from the belly, so as expected, we had to do a transvaginal ultrasound. I could see the sac and the form, but I couldn't tell if there was a heartbeat or not. She took all the pictures she needed, cleaned me up and then said, "You are measuring 6 w and 3 days. I definitely see the fetal pole, but no heartbeat." Immediately another set of lyrics from "Good Father" came flooding in..."He's perfect in all of His ways." She said something about maybe the dates are off, and went to show the pictures to the midwife while I got dressed. I knew what it meant. I'm glad I had some time to cry. The midwife was sweet. Shocked to learn that I go through all the stages of labor and delivery for miscarriages.

She put in a request to check thyroid levels and is concerned that there's a reason behind 3 miscarriages.  I have a follow up appointment later this week to confirm one way or another the status of this miscarriage. I'm curious what the thyroid test will tell us. I've gained well over 30 pounds since June. Most of that within a 2 month time period. One week I gained 5 pounds over a course of 3 days. It was ridiculous. I'd actually dropped 2 pounds since starting my new eating habits, but maybe it was just the beginning of the miscarriage that did it.

I took some time to process and cry before leaving to get P. I mostly held myself together. P did amazing for being with this family for the first time. He was in a good mood and wasn't ready to go to the car yet. They lived in an apartment complex on the second floor, so we climbed up and down stairs for a bit playing. We'd gotten to the top floor when he turned to me and asked, "How's your day going?" It's ok. "How was the dr appt? Good or bad?" Oh you sweet, sweet boy. Thank you for asking. It was bad. "Why was it bad?" Because our baby died. "Why did our baby die?" I don't know honey. It just happens sometimes.

We finally made it to the car and decided we needed - at least I did - some lunch. It was almost 1 at this point. He wanted to go inside and eat, so we did. Pretty soon after we got back in the car to go home dh called to find out what happened at the dr's office, so I let him know. When he got home from work we talked some more about it and what it means for our family. We need to do some more talking and a lot more praying. Yesterday after church I told J. He said, 'Guessed it.' A still doesn't know. P asked again about the dr's appt and we replayed the conversation from the other day, except I asked him why it was bad. He thought for a moment, and then said "Our baby died." That's right, buddy. "Why'd our baby die?" I don't know, honey. Sometimes it just happens. "Why" Baby's heart was broken. "Your heart's broken?" Yes, mommy's sad. Can I have a hug? He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled in. Then I shared this thought with him. Maybe, she wasn't ready to leave Heavenly Father yet. He nodded and hugged me tighter.

All weekend long I've gotten msgs from my 2 dear friends offering prayers and thoughts for me. I'm so grateful for them. On the way home from the dr's I heard a few songs that were about relying on the Savior's strength and bending to His will. Yesterday the Sacrament song had the lyric, "when his heart was stilled and broken"and I kind of lost it. One of the talks was on the enabling power of the Atonement and Grace. This is the strength I'm calling on to help me through. I was thinking about the quote that says something like, Courage is not the absence of fear but the power to follow through anyway. I decided to look it up to get it right. The true quote didn't quite fit what I wanted to say, so I looked up courage in general and a couple of scriptures popped up. One was Joshua 1:9

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

The other was Isaiah 41:10.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. 

THIS is what I was looking for. I just didn't know it. I realized I was looking at the wrong source for courage. You know, as hard and painful as my miscarriage experiences have been, they've also been holy ones. In those moments of agony, the veil has been thin and I've been wrapped in a peace and comfort too. Though it is lonely, I've not been alone. It is a sacred space.

My contractions are getting stronger. It is time for the day to begin. All of my other miscarriages have happened in the wee hours of the night. This one may be different.

Firsts

Peter's birthday was last week. I made carrot cake and banana cupcakes, both with cream cheese frosting. He prefers the banana ones and wasn't sure what to think of the frosting. Mom sent a present we picked up on Thursday. He LOVES it.

He took his first steps on Sunday or Monday night before his birthday in Aaron's room. He was trying to get to the tote to reach for Aaron's triathlon chip. He took two steps in a row. He's done that twice but is still content to get on the floor and crawl.

Peter is an amazing mimic. I've gotten him to say "cock-a-doodle-doo", "cow", "cat" (and actually he said that on his own when he saw Ginger at the Black 's on Thursday), "mama, "dad", and a few other sounds. Sometimes it seems like he is saying Aaron and Jared. He also has a version of "uh-oh". He's been fascinated with the air vents lately and dropping things in them. With the exception of one, thankfully they've been closed so the object isn't actually going down the vent. The other day he was dropping something into the kitchen vent. He turned to me and started going "uh uh". I fished it out for him and a game ensued. He immediately dropped it back in. I didn't get it for him this time. He did the whole "uh uh" again and when I wouldn't get it for him he tried to lift the vent himself. Smartee pants. He is also signing "water" and "more". It isn't precise, but it works.

We also had our first experience with pink eye last week. I think we are done with it, but I am still nervous.

Peter has been experiencing some extreme separation anxiety. We've been doing swim lessons and one of the concepts we've been working on is for him to sit and wait for me. I don't know if there's a connection, but he's started being content on the bed if he wakes up and I'm in the shower. The first time it happened I was really surprised. He'd been crying/screaming, but I talked to him through the closed door and pretty soon he was quiet. When I finally came out, he was laying down facing the door waiting patiently. It was like something had clicked for him and with few exceptions we've not had issues when I'm in the bathroom or after. It's been nice. Around the house is a different story. He is getting picky about going to anyone but me. Although one night he did ask for Jared, which made Jared feel really good. But even Matthew is having issues with him. If I'm holding Peter, he won't even look at Matthew. It's going to be interesting as we get closer to the move and Mom and Dad are around and babysitting.

It's been an interesting first year. It's been quite the adjustment having a little one around again. I feel my age, but I'm grateful he's in our lives and feel life is richer because of it.

Diaper Pins? Who needs diapers?

I'd like to say that we are officially out of diapers, but I can't really say that. Not officially because I still put one on Aaron at night. However, we are diaper free (and almost completely accident free) during the day. Even Jared made his goal to not wear diapers at night anymore. YAY! Aaron usually stays dry all night long too, but just in case we still put one on him. There's been a few times when I'm really glad I did!

At this stage in the game we are working towards Aaron going potty all on his own. We discovered this week that he is now tall enough to turn all the lights on and off by himself. YAY! We won't need to leave a light on in the bathroom anymore because he can reach the switch. Up until this week he's 'needed' help getting his pants down because he couldn't do it. I was tired of hearing him say, "I can't!" when he can get dressed forwards and backwards just fine, so I told him he was an 'I can kid' - just do it like you are putting your pajamas on. I walked him through it and all of a sudden he wasn't saying he couldn't anymore. YAY! Sometimes he still needs a little bit of help, but for the most part I can send him to go potty and he'll come back out completely done - including hands washed and pants on. woohoo!!

It is really weird to walk by the baby section and know that we don't need to buy diapers.

Small miracle = Huge blessing

We are out of ALL disposable diapers - including Jared's - so I pulled down the cloth diaper bin to find something that would fit Jared. I had quite CDs months because I ran out of the disposable liners. We had budgeted money to buy new ones, but ended up using the money to buy sposies instead. We budgeted a small amount for the boys' supplies again this month, but since liners have to be delivered, it's too late to order and have them when I need them. Anyway.... I opened the lid to the CD box and there in the corner was a brand new roll of liners!!! I almost cried b/c that it is such a HUGE blessing! It seems like such an insignificant thing, but it is one of those moments that I recognize as a tender mercy of the Lord. I have no doubt that He is aware of us and our needs.

Doing the Potty Dance

This weekend we made a trip to Houston with the last 2 diapers and a size 5T pullup. I really hoped that we could make it back home without being a diaper short. Unfortunately we didn't quite make it without having to use one of my nephew's diapers, but thankfully it was at the end of our journey and it was only one, so it worked. Aaron pottied in the toilet enough in the evening that it worked for the night too, but it was too full this morning to keep it on him. I woke him up this morning to go exercise and put him on the toilet. He's taken to refusing to use the toilet - or at least making a HUGE fuss about not going - but this morning there was no complaint. I wasn't sure what I was going to put on him, so I decided to just make a leap to real underwear. I tried to use the potty training underwear, but he was starting to wake up enough to have an opinion - and we did not agree. I offered him Thomas the Train underwear and that was acceptable.

My biggest fear has not been whether or not he pee in the underwear - at least not in the morning. Aaron is a creature of habit, and every morning about 9:30 (while I'm in the shower and can do nothing about it) he poops. So today instead of going straight home and getting ready for the day, we made a trip to HEB. I offered to take him potty for a horse ride, but he wasn't wanting to go. So, we just went shopping. About half way through our trip I noticed he was starting to hold himself, so we rushed to the bathroom. Successful venture :) We finished our shopping and came home.

I was debating what I was going to do about him and checking my email and facebook in the meantime. Aaron was playing down by my feet. Suddenly I caught a whiff of something and was immediately alerted to Aaron's needs. I was afraid I was too late, but I checked him and ran to the bathroom. We made it just in time! It took a little bit of time and some effort, but we had a successful experience. YAY!!! Aaron did Jessica's potty dance about 5 times b/c he was so proud of himself. I'm hoping this is a major turning point. I bought a big box of diapers from the store this morning - one of the main reasons I wanted to stop there, but I kept them in the car for now. I want to see how long we can go without having to open them. We shall see.

Almost There

On the last leg of our roadtrip, we started calling our potty stops 'Mandatory Potty Breaks' requiring all passengers to go potty - including Aaron. Amazingly, Aaron complied and thus began our journey on the potty training path once again. It helped that he got a really bad diaper rash and Matthew told him that in order to avoid getting an owie diaper he needed to go potty in the toilet. We have some good days and bad days, but way more good days than bad. He is still unwilling to poop in the toilet, but he did get to a point where he'd tell us he needed to go potty. Although, about two days ago he all of a sudden developed a phobia with the toilet. It turns out that the idea of pipes in the toilet were scary to him. Guess who introduced him to pipes? The same person who is trying to train him to be an airbender or waterbender or whatever bender he feels suits him at the moment :p Anyway, today I finally got him to tell me it was the pipes that were worrying him, so I explained that pipes were helpers. And I'd give him chocolate if he went. Chocolate is magic :) We seem to be making our way back from the pipe scare.

Here we go again....

Well, I ran out of diaper liners so the CD are on the back burner. I should have just ordered some new ones because the price of 100 of those is the same as a package of 30 diapers. But, I didn't. So, we're in sposies for the time being.

Yesterday we had an interesting experience though that has set us back on the potty traing (PT) path. I sent Jared to shower in preparation for his trip to OK with Matthew. Aaron wanted to shower too, but I wasn't going to really help him in his efforts. He had gotten his shorts and diaper off by the time Jared finished in the tub, so he ended up spending some time just in his shirt. Oh he was so excited about being naked. Then all of a sudden he started pleading for a diaper. I recognized that he wanted the diaper to go potty in, so I told him that if he needed to go potty he had to go use the toilet. He still wanted a diaper, but once I offered him candy for using the toilet he took off without any complaint! Sure enough, he went potty in the toilet. The rest of the day he did pretty good too. We went over to my parents' house and I wondered how that would go, but he stood at the toilet and went with the no problem! YAY! We did go out in public, and though he tried to use the toilet, he just couldn't. I'm impressed he was willing to try at least.

This morning the first thing he said to me was that he peed in the bed - meaning he wet his diaper. He used the toilet a couple of times today, but he went in his diaper more. It'd be kind of cool if he were PT by the time Matthew and Jared get home, but I doubt we'll be that successful. And actually, now would not be the best time to be PT because we're having a huge road trip at the end of July. Aye that could make for a longer drive if we have to stop and take him potty that often. We'll see though. This is about the time that Jared got potty trained too.

In Cloth Once More

After a month of sposies, I guess we're back in cloth. Matthew and Aaron were gone a lot last month, so disposables were in order. Now that things are settling down, they don't feel like quite the necessity - though it sure is nice and easy. Aaron was actually the one to push me back into cloth. He requested the jungle diaper. I tried using one of Jared's night diapers but he insisted on the jungle one. I asked him if he missed his cloth diapers and he told me yes. So, apparently he likes the CDs. heh, although the other night I put him in his big bulky night diaper before he was actually in bed and he complained about it being too big. It was funny watching him trying to walk with all that fluffiness!! Usually he's in bed and it doesn't matter.

When he is in sposies, Aaron doesn't have any problem getting everything needed for a diaper change - diapers, wipes, powder. Yesterday was the first time I really gave him the opportunity to get a CD. I'd actually gotten all the supplies and tried to change him, but he wanted his blanket to have the PF (prefold). Finally I cleaned him up and told him to go pick out a diaper for me. He came back with three PF and a frog diaper (FuzziBunz). It was kind of cute. I'm glad he enjoys being in the cloth. When he was a newborn, he HATED them!! He has never been one to like being wet, and as a baby he let us know it!

Maybe we'll try potty training again soon.

What was the problem?

All the disposables are gone - well, all but 2, but they are backup for Matthew, so we are back in full swing CD mode. As I change each diaper I think, what was so hard about this? Why do I become so lazy? It's really not that big of a deal!

Last night Aaron didn't want a diaper on. At least, not Buzz Lightyear (pullup), not jungle (CD cover), not turtle (sposie), not blue or white or yellow or penguins. Finally he pulled out Jared's night diaper - a polka dot one, that's what he wanted. We were like, fine. whatever. So, he wore Jared's size 6 diaper until he fell asleep. Then I changed him into a whale :)

Diaper news

In diaper news.....

I got lazy with the cloth diapers. And with potty training. I knew it would happen. We budgeted $20 in order to buy a big box of wipes, but after talking about it we decided to divie up the money between diapers and wipes. So, I bought a $6 pkg of diapers last Monday because I had a coupon and figured they'd last us the last two weeks of April - until we budget for May. uh, NOT. They lasted a WEEK!!! So, Aaron is back in cloth.

I did hate how quickly we went through the sposies. It felt like such a waste of money, but boy are they convenient!! Maybe Aaron will care about potty training again. Maybe we'll win the lottery. ha!

Go Potty, Eat CANDY!!!!

Today Aaron decided it was a good idea to go potty in the toilet. The end result of getting candy of course was his ultimate motivation - and he probably ate more candy than 'real' food today, but he's developing a habit of using the facilities instead of his diaper. At least, that's what I'm hoping. He did choose to brush his teeth all on his own tonight. I guess all those jelly beans were starting to bother him.

We started in a diaper this morning, but after a huge yucky blowout (right after I changed him no less), he didn't want to put a diaper back on. He did want to go potty in the toilet however, so I bargained with him. He ended up in a diaper of some sort today, but we still called it 'underwear'. Basically I used all my fitted and pocket diapers that could snap into shape so that they could be pulled up and down like underwear. And learning from last attempt, I made sure the diapers had a liner so that should a poopy 'accident' happen, I'd be able to flush it with ease.

Today's efforts came with mixed results. He did use the toilet a lot, but every use came after wetting himself. Eventually I figured out to use the pocket diapers so that he'd have a cover (although my FuzziBunz are worn out enough that we still had leaking). He was trying hard to get his candy, so sometimes he spent a good half hour in the bathroom waiting to go potty. But the time spent paid off. Several times he would go potty, get up and start to get dressed and tell me that he had more. And he did! This occurrance was more frequent in the afternoon after watching Jared go potty. Aaron had to go potty like Jared, so he'd stand at the big toilet. He'd get so excited about 'making mountains' that I don't think he ever quite got done.

I was impressed that one time he wanted to sit on the big potty. What he really needed was to have a bowel movement, but eventually he gave up on the big potty and wanted his small chair again. He never did have his poop, but he gave it a grand effort. In fact, he's tried to poop on the toilet two or three days in a row now, but without success. Still, he's had gas while sitting there and that's progress. He recognizes when it is coming. Soon he'll get used to the sensation and position and be able to get two candies!

It was really nice when he was gone for a few days and I didn't have to worry about diapers all day. If Aaron keeps this effort up, it might not be long before I won't be changing diapers all the time :)

Diaper Update

In case someone out there is just dying to know what's going on in the diaper world (because that's what Moms talk about all the time, right?), here's an update:

After two days of bad experiences in public, I went back to putting Aaron in a diaper with making a few trips to the bathroom here and there. And I was right about potty training and piano lessons not mixing. Monday afternoon Aaron told me he needed to go potty (during a piano lesson). Jared was in the bathroom too, so I figured it would be ok because Jared is usually really good about helping him out when he needs it. Unfortunately it didn't work out quite so nicely and the poor little girl got traumatized by Aaron's lack of modesty. In fact, I rather think Aaron fed off her covered eyes and cries of embarrassment. ah boys. Proud of their parts.

Our bribe for Aaron is candy. So, every day I have this conversation with him:

Aaron: I'm hungry for candy.
Me: Well, if you want candy, what do you need to do?
Aaron: Potty in the toilet, get candy!!
Me: That's right. If you want to get candy you need to go potty in the toilet.
Aaron: Need to go potty. Get candy!!

It works like a charm, I tell you. Although, funny thing is he went potty 4 times the other day and never did get any of his candy. We got distracted in the process of getting dressed again and never remembered to reap the reward.

Captain Courageous Meets Her Twin Major Dumb

Note to self: Do not take your child out in underwear when you are potty training! Especially to a friend's house.

I decided to continue trying Aaron in underwear the last two days, and since we were heading to a birthday party, I made sure he went potty before we left. Unfortunately it meant we were an hour late, but fortunately he did go and didn't have an accident at the party. yay.

After the party we hung out at a friend's house. I stopped by the house and picked up Aaron's chair so that our chances of success would be better considering the 'falling in' incident at the beginning of the week. Aaron did really well staying dry. At first. I took him potty after a few hours of being there because I figured he'd need to go. I praised him for staying dry. He didn't really resist going potty, but I made the mistake of letting him take a toy in the bathroom with him. He sat on the toilet playing with the toy for awhile. Finally I took the toy from him and waited some more. Eventually I told him we'd try again in a few minutes, dressed him, washed his hands and left the bathroom. Not even five - maybe not even TWO minutes later I turned around and he had peed all over himself and his favorite boots. ARGH!! *sigh* I guess I should have waited some more. I cleaned him up and put a diaper on him.

I decided to be valiant and tried taking him again after I felt an appropriate amount of time had passed. His diaper was wet. Guess it's a good thing he had it on. I put it back on him though because it was what we had. He didn't care. When we got home I used the fitted diapers as underwear because at least it's meant to be more absorbent than regular underwear. Aaron ended up pooping in it. Again, at least it was in a diaper. I gave up on the pottying for the night and stuck him in a diaper with a cover and figured he'd go to bed that way and left for piano lessons.

I should never assume smooth sailing when it comes to me leaving and Aaron in diapers. When I got home Matthew said that Aaron had an accident in his diaper. huh? Apparently Aaron needed to go potty so he went to the bathroom and couldn't get the diaper off and ended up peeing in it. Go figure. Matthew found a size 5 disposable in the bedroom, so he put that on him.

It's amazing how lackadaisical a disposable diaper can make a person. Guess who didn't care this morning if Aaron was awake and what he may or may not be doing in his diaper? yeah. But, once I got up and going and finally got the boys dressed, I tried Aaron in his very-nonabsorbent regular Thomas the Train underwear. I told Aaron he needed to go potty in the toilet so he wouldn't get Thomas wet.

We headed out for a friend's house, so I made sure he pottied before we left. Again after an appropriate amount of time had passed, I took him to go potty. Yay his pants were still dry! He even pottied on the big toilet! I let him go play and figured we were good for another little while. Apparently the 'little' was too long. When I went to go check on him there was a nice wet spot on their couch. And worse, we smelled poop. OH sadness!! I took him to the bathroom to clean him up while my friend went to work on the couch. And the carpet. And on his boot too. Well, I cleaned the boot, but she discovered it there. Oh I felt so bad! I put Aaron in a diaper and gave up for the rest of the day.

So, again, the moral of the story is: Take your child in diapers in public when potty training. Don't be a hero because all you'll end up being is dumb.

The Plunge - diaperless

I decided to put Aaron in underwear today with a plastic cover just to see what happens. I'd planned/thought about really focusing on potty training this week since I don't have the distraction of piano lessons in the afternoon, but here it is Wed already and this is the first time I've really done anything pro-active. So far (at 2pm) we have gone potty twice and been dry since getting dressed. Yay!

We did have a minor problem with this last potty trip. Aaron was at the table eating, but got down and told me he was tired. So, I told him let's go potty and then he could go to sleep. He didn't want to, but he was fine once we were in the bathroom although he didn't want to sit and go. He told me he wanted to go finish eating, so I let him leave the bathroom without any pants. I figured he's the type of kid that would run to the bathroom once he felt the urge. I was kind of right. He was playing and then gasped, stood up and grabbed his tooshy. I knew then he needed to go poop. I should have taken him right then to the bathroom instead of just telling him to go. He hung around a little bit longer and then wandered down the hall. Again, I should have followed him but I did go and check on him. He was in the blue room with a slightly shocked look on his face. There at his feet was an 'oops'. I took him to the bathroom before he'd have a chance to pee too. I left him to do his business and cleaned up the other incident. HE did go potty in the toilet at least. We talked about making sure his poop goes in the potty too because that's gross. He said, 'ok' But we'll see what happens.

I've been giving him stickers and a piece of candy for each time he goes potty - both things he loves.

******
9:30 pm update

Aaron was ready to go to sleep by 6:30 pm. I took him potty before dinner and he was dry again and went in the potty. yay! He asked for a diaper though so he could go to bed. He went to sleep, and I put a diaper on him. I was hoping he'd be down for the night but no such luck. I haven't had a chance to check his diaper condition though and my guess is that if he was dry through his nap, he went soon after waking up. He's eating at this point, so he's really likely to have a wet diaper.

Overall I think this was a pretty successful day. It's unfortunate that we'll be out and about tomorrow for a birthday party. The odds of getting him to go potty are slim, though I wonder if they'd be better if he were in underwear. Hmm, do I take a chance? I'll think about it.

Toilet Tale

YAY! Aaron pooped in the toilet tonight!! We sent Jared to go potty before getting in bed and Aaron said he needed to go too, so I told him to go. I checked on him after a little bit and he'd gone potty. I asked him if he was done and he said he had more. I left him to do his usually non-existant more, but came back to clean him up when he started wandering the hall. I was surprised to see a poop in the toilet when I followed up. YAY!! I made a big deal about it - he told me it looked like a caterpillar! lol. I don't mind if going potty before going to bed becomes a habit. With Jared his first potty habit was right before showering. It's better than nothing!!

Diaper Dunk

Tonight Aaron amazed me again. We are away from home for a few days, so tonight when he wanted to go potty, I explained that he'd have to use the big boy toilet since his little potty isn't here. I thought he'd refuse to try because he's always been afraid of 'the big toilet', but with the help of a fun 'ladder' he was willing to climb up on the seat. He was nervous, but content to let me hold on to him while he sat there backwards. He was kind of playing around but then wanted turned around sit forward. I was concerned about him falling in, but after a few adjustments he was situated and actually went!! We were both really pleased.

Aaron got down and then told me he had more. He went to get back on the toilet but in his haste ended up falling in. oops!! Of course that scared him. We finally made a breakthrough with the toilet and he had to fall in! *Sigh* I cleaned him up and soon Jared had to go potty too. Aaron was still saying he had more, but he was willing to let Jared go first. Once Jared was done, I put Aaron back on the toilet but he told me he wanted to potty like Jared. I gave him some instructions and let him stand on the stool and try. YAY - SUCCESS!! AND, it all landed in the the bowl! lol

We'll see if tonight's experience leads to more toilet use or not, but I'm pretty happy with the event either way. I think CD has really been helpful for Aaron. It hasn't been a bad thing for me either. I dreaded going into it, but it's not been that bad. I wouldn't call it fun or really enjoyable, but for what it is, I am content and not unhappy that we are doing it. We'll see if I still feel that way over the long term, but I'm at a point where it's not a big deal to budget money for diapers next month.

More diaper tales

I am constantly amazed by Aaron. CD certainly brings your child's bathroom habits a little more into the spotlight because you can't let them go all day in one diaper like you can a sposie. Last night Aaron woke up at 1:30 am again requesting his diaper to be changed. Though I was not thrilled by having to get up and do it when I felt like I had just gotten to sleep, but it's nice to have a gauge for when he is wetting at night. I changed his diaper this morning while he was sleeping to get him ready to leave for an appointment. I was curious how soaked he was, but was amazed to discover he was completely dry!! This is the second time that he's woken up dry when I've changed him at 1 am. I don't know if it is a second fluke, or if he usually doesn't go potty after 1.

Tonight the boys needed a bath after playing outside, so Jared had gone on to the bathroom to potty and get in the tub. Aaron insisted he needed to go potty too, but I refused to let him go into the bathroom because I figured he just wanted to play with Jared. Once I was able to convince him he needed to get ready for a bath, I let him go in. He got undressed and then surprised me by sitting down on his toilet and going potty. He even emptied it! The boys had fun in the tub, then got ready for bed. I put a 'night' diaper on Aaron and was laying down with him - just laid down - and he told me he went potty. I asked him if he needed his diaper changed and he told me yes. I debated telling him to just deal with it, but instead I told him that it was ok to use the toilet if he needed to go potty. He said OK and got out of bed. He dawdled getting there, but he eventually did make it to the bathroom. Surprise! He went potty again!! His diaper was dry after all. He NEEDED to go potty, he hadn't gone potty. I need to pay more attention to when he tells me he's gone potty because he may really be saying he needs to go. So, he went potty, we got him all cleaned up and headed back to bed. I told him I'd get him dressed in bed, but by the time we got back to the bedroom he told me had more. We traipsed back to the bathroom and just as he sat down he had gas. He never did go potty again, but he didn't want to leave the toilet either. I'm thinking he may need to poop, so I told him that he's been trying for awhile now and it was time to take a break. When he feels like he needs to go again, he can go. I'd leave the light on so he can go right in. I decided to be brave and put him in underwear that way if he did run to the bathroom it'd be easier to get undressed. We'll see what happens. I may have a big wet poopy mess, but at least there's already CDs that it can be washed with instead of having one pair of dirty underwear!!

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Well, that was short-lived. Aaron went to the sink and was playing in the water. I had the thought at the time that it's going to make him go potty, but I didn't do anything about it. Apparently I should have paid more attention to the warning because that's exactly what happened. Oh well.

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Aaron started making whiny/crying noises about 11:40 pm. I went in and changed his diaper and he immediately stopped and went back to sleep. I'm thinking that all those times he's woken up about that time of night was because he went potty in his diaper. hmm I'm interested in seeing what his diaper situation will be in the morning.

Diapers - Eureka!

For the first time in my cloth diapering history we've exclusively used CDs day and night!! I tried using CDs at night with Jared and still ended up using sposies instead. Last night I put Aaron in the same system as the night before and ended up with the ultimate test. He didn't get up until 11 today. His diaper was absolutely soaked, but his clothes weren't and the fleece liner was dry!! YAHOO!! We have a winning ticket! :D

Diaper Report

I was excited this morning to wake up with only Matthew in bed and both boys still asleep. YAY! I should make them walk a mile and a half every day!!

For Aaron's diaper last night I used a premium prefold (tucked in the front) with a microfiber insert and a fleece liner to help him feel dry. Apparently it worked because he did not wake up requesting his diaper to be changed until this morning. Maybe it was a fluke since he was so tired, but I'll try it again!

Tonight at one of his changes I put him in a velour/knit diaper I made, and I've decided I really like the fit. If I remember right, it was challenging to find a cover that completely covered it, but my MotherEase one fit over it without any problem. Maybe one of these days when I pull my sewing machine out (and finish my other projects) I'll whip up another one.

Tomorrow is definitely CD laundry day!!

Diapers Day 3

Aaron seems to have adjusted quite easily to CD now. He never complains about diaper changes - at least no more than normal. Tonight I put on a truck print diaper and that made him pretty excited. CD certainly are more fun than sposies in that regard.

Last night went about the same as the night before. He woke up about 12:30 crying, and when asked if he needed a diaper change he shook his head yes. I changed him into the sposie and he fell back asleep fairly quickly. Aaron pretty much always wakes up in the 12 - 2 am hour, and I'm kind of wondering if it's because he's gone potty. He has never liked being in a wet diaper, even as an infant, so the effect of feeling the wetness in a CD might be especially aggravating for him.

We had our first public diaper change today. Aaron usually has a poop in the morning, but he hadn't done it before we needed to leave so I left him in the sposie from last night. We were going to a park and I didn't want to have to change a poopy CD there. Sure enough, by the time we left he needed changed. The CD I chose wasn't stuffed with much, which would have been fine if he hadn't taken a 2 hour nap in it. Poor guy. He woke up soaked :(

I've been trying to decide when to do my first load. I think it'll happen on Monday. Washing CD isn't a big deal except it can take a long time between soaking and running them through 2 complete wash /rinse cycles. I guess that means I really ought to go throw a load of clothes in now since the machine will be tied up on Monday....