How to show faith in the face of Obstacles and Challenges

So today was the day of my talk. I had read and prayed and worried and thought for days. Just as a refresher, my topic was how to show faith in the face of obstacles and challenges. Earlier this week I knelt in sincere prayer and my mind was enlightened to this:

Have faith in the Savior, believe him and act according to his commands. Breaks down to taking care of the poor and needy = service.
ex Neighbor hurricane Sandy going from house to house seeing if there was a need he could help with ex reaching out to a new member of the ward 

I turned to Alma 34 and saw this:

17 Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your ^afaith unto repentance, that ye begin to ^bcall upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you;
28 And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye^aturn away the ^bneedy, and the ^cnaked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and ^dimpart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your ^eprayer is ^fvain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as ^ghypocrites who do deny the faith.
 29 Therefore, if ye do not remember to be ^acharitable, ye are as dross, which the refiners do cast out, (it being of no worth) and is trodden under foot of men.

I spent the next several days reading and studying chapters 31 - 34 and saw and felt so much from this study, I had no idea how to convey it in a coherent form. I realized I was spending a lot of time on the faith portion of it that I had not even taken into account the part about challenges. I looked up adversity in the lds.org database and discovered Elder Ballard's talk from this last conference and felt that it was everything I was trying to convey. Unfortunately I can't just re-read his talk. As I looked at other talks I discovered one from Elder Eyring that was a lesson on Alma 31 - 34. Again, just what I was thinking!! There were a few other talks that seemed especially relevant like Elder Anderson's on repentance.

Yesterday I was able to spend a good portion of my morning studying and trying to flush it out. I have pages of notes from my study of the Alma chapters. I could see that there was a connection regarding prayer between the Zoramites, Alma and the teachings of Amulek. I also felt like what I was looking for was a lesson on charity. My family responsibilities kept me from spending more time on it until the evening when the boys were in bed. I continued to go in circles until I made a promise to work until the laundry was done then go to bed and figure it out in the morning.

By the time I went to bed Aaron was awake. I got him taken care of and then went to bed. As soon as I laid down he was at the door asking for me to snuggle with him otherwise he wouldn't be able to go  back to sleep. So I went to bed with Aaron at 2 am and was woken by Matthew at 6 am to go our bed. I did NOT want to get up this morning. I finally managed to pull myself up about 8:30. I spent the morning continuing to make notes. It helped to print all the pages I was looking at online because then I could highlight the thoughts that seemed most relevant. Soon I had to refresh for my  Primary lesson too and all I could do was pray and hope something came out good. I mentioned to Matthew I thought it would be nice if I could have someone sit with my class during sharing time so I could finish thinking. He was supposed to teach that hour but no one showed up so he surprised me and took over the class so I could go work again. By the end of that hour I had a coherent talk.

I was feeling so nervous and shaky today. Part of the pressure I felt was knowing this was my first talk in the ward - my introduction of sorts. Since the assignment came by email, I am betting that the Bishopric member who asked me didn't even know me by sight because he passed me several times while I sat in the hall and never said a word. I had made a comment about speaking today on FB so I had several people comment to me about being ready and encouraging me. When I sat down on the stand I was trembling! I was relieved to see I was the second speaker. The men I sat beside were very kind and offered a somewhat calming presence. As the meeting began, I could see the tender mercies of the Lord unfolding. The opening hymn was How Great Thou Art - one of my favorite and very communing one for me - and the Sacrament hymn was In Humility Our Savior - another favorite. Music is so vital to me as a centering force. The next tender mercy was that our housemate offered the opening prayer. He was aware I had sat at that table for hours and knew I was struggling with the talk. He offers very heart felt prayers and this one was no different. He prayed for us as the speakers and for them as a congregation. He also happened to mention the need to serve each other - the very point I hoped to get across. During the sacrament I prayed some more and let my mind just open up and try to imagine what I was going to say. The ideas flowed and felt right. I took a few notes and hoped I could get them out of my head and into the microphone.

The other pressure was wondering if our topics would overlap. Remember how I said I didn't feel that my old talk was quite right? I kept feeling like it was the basics and I needed to take it a step further. The youth speaker covered faith - and quite well. (Good thing his was a short talk too b/c I made up for it) I was impressed with his ability to cover the topic clearly and concisely. He used the quotes from Alma 32:21. Interestingly, the closing speaker gave the rest of my old talk - the experiment on the word and even used their own experience with infertility.  He did take it a step beyond and covered repentance which was one of the topics I kept feeling I should harp on a bit but never quite made it in my talk.

So what did I actually say? I have no idea what all I said. I just got up and started talking and touched on just a few of the quotes I'd pulled! ha :) As Matthew and I were pulling up into the parking lot before church I had told him of the concern I felt about what kind of impression I was going to make with this first talk. He said it couldn't be any worse than his after he first arrived here (I have never heard him give a bad talk) and then he said he thinks it may have even been a similar topic. I told him that my initial thought had been to talk about the challenge of the last year but didn't really know how to and tie it in or if I even wanted to. He understood. I told him that in case it comes out anyway, would he mind if I shared details. He of course did mind and said he'd prefer I didn't. I said ok and that was that. Well I kept my promise but I also was true to my feeling.

I began by introducing myself and sharing that I grew up in TX and lived there until we arrived here in August. I told them my first thought when I received the topic was our recent experience with the move. I mentioned that Matthew had lived here for a year while I stayed behind to sell the house so I got to be a single parent for a year to our two boys. I shared the opposition and resistance I experienced from family and friends at the reality of me moving. I shared the vision the Lord gave me of the garden as I mourned the friendships I would not make with those moving into the ward as I prepared to leave. I didn't blog about this vision but I journaled it. Basically each of us is a plant in a garden and sometimes transplants have to be made for the mutual benefit of everyone. I told the members that I had visited the ward once when we dropped Matthew off a year ago and yet I felt a homesickness for them. I don't know why, but obviously we need each other. I thanked them for their examples and fellowshipping.  Then I started moving into the rest of my talk.

My second impression about the topic was that our faith is in Jesus Christ.  What does that mean and how does it influence our life?  Even in our hardest and darkest times and circumstances, do our actions and thoughts reflect our belief or faith and hope that Jesus is the Son of God who came to earth,”suffering pains and ^aafflictions and^btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ^ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him ^adeath, that he may ^bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to ^csuccor his people according to their infirmities.”? (Alma 7:11-12)

Elder Eyring said

My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.

I think at this point I gave a nod to our housemate about his prayer and his example of service. 

I then told them that I was studying Alma 31 - 34 and wanted them to compare the prayers of these groups of people. First the Zoramites and then Alma:

Alma and his teaching companion Amulek had gone to the land of the Zoramites – people who once had the fullness of the gospel and turned away from it. If you recall, these are the people who built the tower called Rameumptom (meaning the holy stand) and offered the same prayer once a week about how they were separated from their brethren as the chosen people of God and how grateful they were to know there should be no Christ because no one could know the future. Then they went home and never spoke of God again until they returned to their pulpit and offered the same prayer the following week. Their hearts were set on the things of the world and thus turned away the poor and the needy.

Contrast the Zoramite prayer with that of Alma as he prepared himself for the challenges he faced as a missionary. The italics are an emphasis of things prayed for that we can emulate.

 31 O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul ^ain Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these ^bafflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people. (I emphasized that Alma recognized affliction would come because of the choices of these people and that sometimes our trial is the result of other people's actions)

 32 O Lord, wilt thou comfort my soul, and give unto me success, and also my fellow laborers who are with me…yea, even all these wilt thou comfort, O Lord. Yea, wilt thou comfort their souls in Christ.

 33 Wilt thou grant unto them that they may have strength, that they may ^abear their afflictions which shall come upon them because of the iniquities of this people.

 34 O Lord, wilt thou grant ^aunto us that we may have success in bringing them again unto thee in Christ.

 35 Behold, O Lord, their ^asouls are precious, and many of them are our brethren; therefore, give unto us, O Lord, power and wisdom that we may bring these, our brethren, again unto thee. (I pointed out that Alma prayed for these wicked people and recognized that they were of worth even though they would cause them afflictions). 

At this point I could feel the Spirit strong and could tell others felt it as well. There was power in that part of my message. 

I should have left it at those two prayers but then I read Amulek's teaching on prayer in Alma 34:17-30 (people started falling asleep here. I should have gone straight from vs 17 to 29 & 30. I pointed out that unless we taking care of the poor and the needy - not just physically by emotionally and spiritually, then our prayers are in vain. We could be praying like Alma but unless we serve others it is of no worth) and then the Ammonites example as they took in the poor of the Zoramites in 35:9: 

And he breathed out many threatenings against them. And now the people of Ammon did not fear their words; therefore they did not cast them out, but they did receive all the poor of the Zoramites that came over unto them; and they did ^anourish them, and did clothe them, and did give unto them lands for their inheritance; and they did administer unto them according to their wants.

I asked them who do they most identify with? Are they like the Zoramites who come to church once a week and feel great about themselves and take no thought the rest of the week? Or are they like Alma? or even the people of Ammon who took care of the poor and then provided lands of inheritance - our land of inheritance is eternal life.

I think at this point I moved to Elder Ballard's talk:

 Only when our testimony transcends what is in our mind and burrows deep into our heart will our motivation to love and to serve become like unto the Savior’s. It is then, and only then, that we become deeply converted disciples of Christ empowered by the Spirit to reach the hearts of our fellowmen.

When our hearts are no longer set upon the things of this world, we will no longer aspire to the honors of men or seek only to gratify our pride (see D&C 121:35–37). Rather, we take on the Christlike qualities that Jesus taught:

• • 
  We are gentle and meek and long-suffering (see D&C 121:41).
• • 
  We are kind, without hypocrisy or guile (see D&C 121:42).
• • 
  We feel charity toward all men (see D&C 121:45).
• • 
  Our thoughts are always virtuous (see D&C 121:45).
• • 
  We no longer desire to do evil (see Mosiah 5:2).
• • 
  The Holy Ghost is our constant companion, and the doctrines of the priesthood distill upon our souls as the dews from heaven (see D&C 121:45–46).
• ...
• How do we make this change? How do we ingrain this love of Christ into our hearts? There is one simple daily practice that can make a difference for every member of the Church, including you boys and girls, you young men and you young women, you single adults, and you fathers and mothers.
  That simple practice is: In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help. Stay focused, just like the honeybees focus on the flowers from which to gather nectar and pollen. If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible.
  President Thomas S. Monson has taught that in many instances Heavenly Father answers another person’s prayers through us—through you and me—through our kind words and deeds, through our simple acts of service and love.
  And President Spencer W. Kimball said: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 82)."
  I shared a time when I was feeling really low and realized I was too much in myself and needed to get outside my box, so I started making phone calls and reaching out to others. In turn, I was lifted as well.
  My final thought came from Alma 33:21-23

  21 O my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly, or would ye rather harden your hearts in ^aunbelief, and be ^bslothful, that ye would not cast about your eyes, that ye might perish?
   22 If so, wo shall come upon you; but if not so, then cast about your eyes and ^abegin to believe in the Son of God, that he will come to redeem his people, and that he shall suffer and die to ^batone for their sins; and that he shall ^crise again from the dead, which shall bring to pass the ^dresurrection, that all men shall stand before him, to be ^ejudged at the last and judgment day, according to their^fworks.
   23 And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall ^aplant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, ^bspringing up in you unto ^ceverlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your^dburdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye ^ewill. Amen.
  

  
  

I would like to say I felt a relief when I sat down but I didn't stop shaking for awhile after church. I was told that it was a good talk and I think my experience with moving resonated with several people because this a transient ward and long hours away from spouses is pretty typical. I feel like I covered what I was supposed to. The only quote I wished I had remembered to give was this from Elder Anderson's talk:

For most, repentance is more a journey than a one-time event. It is not easy. To change is difficult. It requires running into the wind, swimming upstream. Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.” ¹⁸ Repentance is turning away from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts, and turning toward other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality. It is “re-turning” toward God.

Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving and working to repent, you are in the process of repenting.

As we improve, we see life more clearly and feel the Holy Ghost working more strongly within us.

But, the closing speaker covered repentance well enough that I really didn't need to. When I looked at the clock as I sat down, there was 15 min left of the meeting and we still needed to sing an intermediate hymn. I had heard the closing speaker mention to the Bishopric member that his talk wasn't very long. It wasn't really but we ended about 5 minutes late because I had eaten into his time.

I am so grateful for the prayers offered on my behalf today. I needed them and I felt them. The Lord offered his mercies and I can honestly say I felt more like myself today than I have in awhile. I've missed that companionship with Heavenly Father. I needed this talk and the opportunity to "re-turn toward God."

Sick day

Ugh. Sick. Hope it passes quick... don't think I'll be exercising today or counting calories....

Weigh in day: Week 1

I realized yesterday that our scale was one of the things that was left behind in the move :/ This morning I put together the Wii. It has been calling to me anyway with one of the other contesters (sp?) using it for her exercise and weighing. According to the Wii I am 179.7. I really should have weighed or measured last week so I could have consistency. argh. I can feel a difference this morning (I feel a little smaller) but I have a hard time believing I really dropped 4.3 pounds in a week. It just happens that the one using the Wii has lost 3.8 so maybe it is possible. We will see how it all comes out I guess.

I did not exercise yesterday and had planned on walking with the neighbor this morning but Jared stayed home sick so we will try for tomorrow. I probably should be updating this on the treadmill....ok, now I am set up. I am going to attempt to do my 5 mph program with my 'desk'. 

 

When Aaron got home yesterday I made a smoothie. In the past I've used yogurt as the base but we were low on yogurt so I made it with milk and soy protein powder instead. He wanted chocolate so I added cocoa powder, spoonful of sugar, and hazelnut spread then added the usual kale, spinach, banana, and cantalope. It was amazingly delicious! I decided to play around with the nutrient setting on MFP (*didn't quite work to do the program and type. Had to quit and now it is the end of the day when I finish this entry...) and check out my sugar intake. The smoothie pushed me over by 31 g (or whatever the measurement is!) I was shocked and thought maybe it was the hazelnut spread or the spoonful of sugar. Turns out it was the fruit. *sigh* 

It was really eye opening to go through my food diary and see what my totals looked like. I discovered my iron intake is really low. I have had lower iron levels my entire life. I might be in the healthy or normal range when I've done blood tests, but it is always on the borderline low side. I did a little research on iron rich foods and discovered the cocoa powder is actually quite full of iron.        When I looked back at all the foods I'd eaten, interestingly enough the breads were a major source of iron. I found it ironic that the things that had the highest calories or carbs also tended to have the highest iron - tortillas, english muffins, chocolate (just to name a few). The cocoa powder actually has a very low calorie count and has no sugar, so by itself it is not bad. Spinach was another great source as well as the butternut squash. I decided for lunch to make a high iron meal. I ended up making scrambled eggs with the squash, kale, and spinach. What would fit in an english muffin I put in it and ate the rest. I am really loving the butternut squash! Between the lunch and a smoothie I was able to really boost my iron today. In fact at the end of the day I am just 7 units away from making the daily goal. woohoo!!

Weekend Catchup part 2

So I ended up walking a total of 71 minutes and over two miles while on the computer - giving me an additional 366 calories to burn. I think my idea was pretty ingenious and a big eye opener. I realize that I would have spent all that time on the computer anyway, but seriously?! Granted, I wasn't just on facebook or checking my email that entire time. I read my lesson for Primary and worked on my talk as well. I am considering whether I should do a program on the treadmill anymore or just walk while I do my computer time because obviously it will be well spent :P I have already met my weekly exercise time and calorie burn goal. I am excited for the weigh in (though that means I really need to find the scale....) Every day I have been under my caloric intake.

 I am really glad I had so many to use today because the butternut squash & kale quesadilla I made for lunch was amazing and 600 calories. I had no idea kale could taste so good!!

Here is today's total:

I actually drank all 8 cups of water today too. Go me!!

Weekend Catchup

I had a brilliant idea today - make my treadmill a desk! So I am typing this while walking on the treadmill. If I have typos please forgive me. I have had to retype quite a few words.

I want to take weekends off for exercise, but I was certainly productive which makes me happy. Even better, I played with the boys and they helped clean their room Saturday. Yesterday was another great day. I am loving the afternoon church schedule!! (at least, I did this week ;)) As for food intake, I did really well. I took my measuring cups and spoons to the dinner table which elicited all kinds of questions from the boys. I am not quite sure how to answer their question satisfactorily. All I have said is that I am keeping a record of what I am eating and I need to know exactly how much everything is to do so. Since yesterday was fast Sunday and with afternoon church it was like a free day so I didn't measure anything.

Yesterday as I was going down to the basement my foot slipped through one of the steps. It got pretty bruised and even hurts a little to walk on it. I was hesitant to exercise today in fear of further damaging my ankle, but I laced up my shoes and did it anyway. I decided to just go for it and did the 5mph program. Oh man I thought I would have to quit it because it was so hard, but after the first 'break' back down to 4.5 I felt like I could do it. In fact that was my mantra the whole time: You've got this. You can do it. Only a couple more. And I did do it. And I wouldn't say it was 'easy', but it was doable. I didn't even have to count down the clock for each set.

I brought down the laptop hoping I could listen to some things while I worked but the speakers weren't loud enough. Then I had the idea that if I had a board across the arms of the treadmill I could work while I walked. After my program was done I found a board, and voila! At this point I have gone 1.03 miles, burned 146 more calories, and typed for 26 min. I drank 2 bottles of water so I will probably have to stop soon though.........

Ah, the other exciting thing. I accomplished my goal of talking to the neighbor about exercising together. She was so excited I asked her. We are going to walk Mon and Wed at 9 am. We start Wed. YAY!!!

Treadmill 5mph 30 min

I am really sore from my calisthenics yesterday :p My abs and sides ache.

I chose the 5 mph program today because I wanted the 30 minutes to log. It was hard, but I did it. Thankfully it was one minute intervals with a one minute 'break' at 4.5 mph. The distance was 1.81. 

Before when I've done the treadmill I spent the time reading scriptures or other uplifting things. Since the machine is in the basement and I can't find the large print scriptures yet, I was only able to read a little bit before having to put it down which left me with a lot of meditation time. I was thinking about my talk and all the challenges we've gone through, but instead of being humble about it I could see that I was marking off a list and came off sounding really .... ??.... insincere? non sympathetic? boastful? Not quite sure what, but I realized I was full of pride and need to humble myself. I have struggled to feel the Spirit and I think it boils down to humility. I have become calloused since the move and to protect myself I've closed off my heart. I need to forgive and love.

I was reading in 3 Nephi 13 and verses 19-21 (which happens to be the same as Matthew 6:19-21) really struck out to me. 

 19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where ^amoth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal;
 20 But lay up for yourselves ^atreasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

I realized the counsel is to worry about the things of God more than the materialism of the world because the earthly treasures can be lost, but the spiritual things - like our faith, hope, charity, - can not be taken away. How we spend our time and energy creates who we are. I suppose I already knew that, but, as I said, it struck out to me today.

As I am re-reading it right now it is a great intro into the rest of the chapter as the Savior tells his apostles to not worry about the clothing and food because the Lord is aware of the need and will take care of it.  
33 But ^aseek ye first the ^bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Talk

I have been asked to give a talk on the 13th on how to show faith in the face of obstacles and challenges. Ironically, it is a very similar topic from my last talk. I was re-reading a lot of my posts in search of that entry and man I am amazed at myself! I need to start at the beginning of my blog and remind myself of who I am and what I have done. There are some really amazing insights and experiences documented. Yay for journals!

Day 2

I spent the morning trying to figure out the fastest workout to do and managed to spend more time procrastinating than if I'd have just done the cardioX video :/ By the time everyone was out of the house it was already 8:45 am, so I did dishes then made the mistake of looking something up on the computer and checking facebook (and MFP - my new addiction :p). Finally at 9:55 I started doing leg lifts and situps on the bed while watching videos. I did a total of about 15 minutes of various calisthenics. It really doesn't amount to much, but it is better than nothing. It's the most my abs have been worked on in months so it is better than nothing. My legs are still sore from yesterday. It is my intent to do the 5 mph/30 min on the treadmill tomorrow. I also want to make it to the grocery store before Aaron gets out so I really need to stay on top of things.

Matthew requested I take Aaron to the art museum tomorrow because that is his number one request every time an outing is mentioned. It never occurred to me to take him while Jared is in school. Isn't that sad?!

Here is how my food intake panned out today. I didn't end up eating breakfast and didn't drink as much water either. My fat went through the roof as a result of 9 Chili's tortilla chips. Isn't that awful?! But they are SO good!!

If every day were like today...   You'd weigh 176.8 lbs in 5 weeks 

Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken

Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken from skinnytaste.com

Really easy to make and good flavor. I used frozen chicken and it was ready in 6 hours. I had it as a taco and over rice. I preferred the rice. Avocado would have made a wonderful addition to it. We layered the chicken over rice and topped it with cheese, lettuce, sour cream and salsa. 1 cup is a serving, so I reserved my one cup and was able to make two or three "helpings" out of it for a total of 726 calories with all the fixings (1 cup rice, 1.5 TB sour cream, 1 c lettuce, 1/2 c cheddar cheese, salsa and one taco shell. We also had Chili's tortilla chips. That was bad. Blew my fat count way out of the ballpark!!)

Getting Started. Again.

So I began the challenge of keeping a food diary and working on my goal to exercise 3 times a week. I wasn't sure what I wanted to begin with, but convinced myself I could do it for 20 minutes. I got on the treadmill and did the 4 mph 20 min program. It turns out I need to do 30 minutes of exercise but oh well. Perhaps next time I will do the 5 mph 30 minute program instead. I am actually sore tonight. It felt good to walk out of the basement and see it was only 9 am. I knew if I hopped in the shower right then I would lose my umph and end up wasting the rest of the morning while I felt productive right then. I reminded myself I can work around the house before I showered - and I could even go grocery shopping if I had the time - so I did! I took care of the dishes, vacuumed the living room, read scriptures, and went through the grocery ad. By the time I was ready to update MFP (myfitnesspal) it was already after 10:30. I managed to get a shower in just minutes before picking up Aaron. I felt so productive! I was also very tired, but I felt like I accomplished a lot today too.

I was afraid to put anything in my mouth today because I'd have to calculate the calories :P Thankfully MFP has a HUGE database already so it isn't much of a challenge to do so. The biggest issue was remembering to measure out portions. After supper I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I still had 390 calories to use. I was so excited because man I still felt so hungry!! Here was today's totals:

I have only been looking at calories so I was surprised to see the red for carbs and protein. I guess I need to pay more attention to that....

As for my other goals, I am almost done with the spreadsheet and can't wait to start checking it off!

Edited to add:

I just got a note from MFP that says:

If every day were like today...   You'd weigh 178.7 lbs in 5 weeks 

It seemed discouraging until I realized that I am at 184, not 180.

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone. As is well documented, I have been struggling with finding the balance and motivation to exercise, be a productive member of the household, and find joy in the journey. I had the privilege of going to North Carolina this last week. It was soothing and rejuvenating to be in a clean, bright and beautiful environment. I told my SIL I could use a good dose of OCD lol I was also able to get a copy of my beloved cardioX so no more of those excuses.  

It is time for the annual Lettuce Eat Cake contest.  The contest has been moved from the weebly web site to myfitnesspal which is similar to sparkpeople and weight watchers. So, I find myself committed to a program with no game plan. I snuck on to the scale while at my bro's house and got an actual number to my weight: 184 - as I expected. I need to figure out a schedule that I could work with - and a menu plan. According to MFP to lose 1 pound a week my daily calorie intake should be 1540. I would rather not eat than count calories :p 

I decided to look back at my blog for motivation and insight. I started Weight Watchers Jan 2010 at 180 pounds. Sounds familiar. By the start of the first lettuce eat cake contest on the 18th I was already down to 177. I had a few tools to help me - Matthew was on board and practicing along side me, we had a working digital scale, I was already working out and I had friends to workout with. It takes so much time and effort - and a great desire. I need the true desire :/ Anyway, my original point was going to be that if I did it once, I could do it again. I am in the same place physically. I need to get there mentally. I should start with a game plan:

*Find exercise partners. 

(Ranita, Carol, send email to ward members)

*Use a menu.  

(Either repeat my blog menu or do the diabetic cookbook bc it has breakfast, lunch, and dinner planned out.)

*Exercise at least 3 times a week. 

(Mon, Wed, Fri)

*Be in bed by 11 pm 

(Boys need to be in bed by 8:30 so I can go to bed - which also means dinner needs to be ready by 5 - 5:30 pm)

*Buy a food scale

*Prepare an exercise space

"Other" ideas:

*Try Flylady again 

(Apparently I need someone over my shoulder telling me what to do and when)

*re-introduce the chore chart

*make family rules prominent in the home

 (want discipline to be based on rules broken)

*have consistent FHE and family & personal scripture study

*make date night a priority (at least once a month)

*get a new tablecloth

(I hate having a tablecloth on the table, but that is the way this family rolls. So if I get one that is more neutral maybe I can see the dirt better and be more willing to keep it clean)

*sew Aaron's shoe & Jared's scout shirt

******************

My internet went out while typing this up, so I decided to save it offline and ended up creating a goal spreadsheet so I can check it off as I go along. I also 'got off the couch' (or bed in this case) and cleaned the bathroom and put the first load of laundry in. I also ate 3 cookies. It's balance, right? lol oh man I have a lot of work ahead of me! :)

 

Mystery

I had my camera's SD card in the laptop when we went out Saturday night to eat and brought the computer along to do our budget meeting. After we were home and I went to my computer, the card was gone. I can't imagine how it could have just fallen out of the computer and yet the computer was in our possession the entire time. I have no idea where it could be. This card is our NJ history. I hope it turns up soon. I keep wanting to upload pictures or take more :(

Christmas musings

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

I spent a lot of the afternoon painting and coloring with Aaron. I decided to pull out my watercolors and just create. I ended up producing the above. I spent a long time trying to figure out what I wanted to do about people because I didn't think I could do them justice. I liked the empty manger but Aaron insisted it needed the baby Jesus. I debated what color to make the blanket and Aaron chose the blue. I was surprised when as I formed the blanket the Spirit touched my heart in testimony of the sacredness of that night and the truth of the nativity story. I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Boy Toy

Part of my creative itch is a desire to do something with the boys. Memory making. That's what I am after. I laid awake for a few hours in the middle of the night and used the time sifting through pintrest. I was looking for Christmas and kid crafts. By the next morning I found a gem - a catapult made from craft sticks. 

Jared looked at the picture very carefully, counted each stick and together we made our first catapult:

Aaron made one as well and soon battle ensued with lincoln logs as ammo.

I went to go shower and while I was gone Jared proceeded to make five more!! They played all morning long. I think my plan to make memories worked this day.

Birds

I have been in the mood to create and though I have plenty of projects I could finish, I wanted to do something new. I had high hopes for creating things this Christmas season, but have gotten a really slow start. I was searching through www.allpeoplequilt.com looking at the handmade ornament patterns and came across two that were particularly interesting: a star and wild bird ornaments. 

apqshop.com wild birds

I had hoped to get the pattern for the bird but discovered it would cost $5.99. I figured for $6 I could figure it out close enough. I dug through my stash of fabric and with Aaron's help began my version. 

My first task was to figure out a way to create a pattern. I thought about printing the picture displayed but it seemed too daunting to try and manipulate the sizing with the printer and scanner. It finally occurred to me it would be simple to do the manipulating with just the computer screen. So I zoomed in on the picture until I got the size I wanted, put my white cardstock on the screen and traced the bird like a transparency. 

Once I had my template it was pretty straight forward. Put right sides together, stitch leaving a hole to turn inside out, stuff and piece together. I did realize that the wings had to be sewn on to each side of the bird before stitching the body together. I also sewed in a ribbon on the top so the bird could hang like an ornament. My biggest challenge was getting the sewing machine foot over the big  poofy wings and having some rough looking attachment seams. I don't know how the designer was able to have no seams showing on the wings. It is a mystery. I thought about just doing a topstitch all the way around so that the seams would just be part of the end product and maybe give it a more finished look but decided against it. 

I have never made a stuffed animal before, but I think it isn't bad for a first time. Aaron was pretty happy with it :) The only thing I still need to do is give her some eyes and a family. 

I used polyfil to stuff the bird, but I am wondering if just putting a layer of batting would give it the filled look but also soften the poof enough to make it more like an ornament and less like a stuffed animal.

Savory Cheddar Bread

Savory Cheddar Bread

• Prep: 20 min. Bake: 45 min.
• Yield: 16 Servings

204565

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon onion salt
• 1/2 teaspoon leaf oregano
• 1/4 teaspoon ground mustard
• 1-1/4 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• 1 egg, well beaten
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon butter, melted

Directions

• Combine flour, baking powder, sugar, onion salt, oregano, dry mustard and cheese; set aside. Combine egg, milk and butter; add all at once to dry ingredients, stirring just until moistened. Spread batter in a greased 8-in. x 4-in. loaf pan. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Yield: 1 loaf.

Nutritional Facts1 serving (1 slice) equals 112 calories, 4 g fat (3 g saturated fat), 27 mg cholesterol, 229 mg sodium, 14 g carbohydrate, trace fiber, 4 g protein.

Originally published as Savory Cheddar Bread in Country Woman May/June 1990, p31

Irony

Went to a Chinese buffet tonight and the fortune cookie said, "Happiness is activity."

Blah

I am sure you have guessed by now that I am not keeping up with my running. Since Thanksgiving I did my training one more time and haven't done it since. I used the treadmill set on a slight incline and by the end I was totally popped. I walked the last 6 minutes. My desire has vacated leaving a note of guilt and an expanding waist line. I am sure I will have to start from scratch again. I was set to run my next 5k this week. This morning the dog begged me to walk him, and I would have acquiesced except that his leash and harness have disappeared upstairs where he resides these days.

I participated in a cookie exchange last weekend. Once again I ate all the cookies (but at least it wasn't 16 dozen this time - more like 2). Cookie exchanges are my nemesis. I do not bake cookies anymore unless there is a guarantee they are leaving the house because I have absolutely no self control. They are too easy to just pop in my mouth at the slightest thought or craving.

Weight watchers sent me their annual "we have a new program you should try for a discount" email. I don't think I am quite ready to go there, but my eating is out of control right now and with not exercising on top of it, I will have a big problem real soon if I don't get control of myself. I am already to the point that my jeans are tight so I only want to wear loose-fitting clothes. The problem with those kind of apparel is that you lulled into carnal security. When your clothes are squeezing the life out of you you are very aware of your body's size and want to do something about it.

I had started writing a post a few months ago about selfishness and never got to finish it. I wish I would have because I think I could use that kind of pep talk right now. The basic gist is whether it is selfish to take the time to exercise or selfish to spend the time doing other things that need to get done. I need to see things from the perspective that it is not selfish to take care of your body. It is like two selves battling it out - the healthy self and the careless self. There are a lot of balls that I have been dropping lately. I am reminded of the scripture Mosiah 3:19 

For the ^anatural ^bman is an ^cenemy to God, and has been from the ^dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he ^eyields to the enticings of the Holy ^fSpirit, and ^gputteth off the ^hnatural man and becometh a ⁱsaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a ^jchild, ^ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

I need to get myself in order. I feel like hormones are playing a huge role in my ability to do that though. I spend at least one week a month in the depths of depression and by the time I recover I have a week or two to catch up before the roller coaster heads south again. I think I feel it so acutely these days because I am with myself too much. I need to get out of the house and see the sun, feel the air, be with other people and serve. (Of course my daily walks would help a lot and yet I hinder myself by not going. ) Blah.

Anyway, I need to do something so I must stop typing and get up and move.

Back on track

As this is Thanksgiving week, I have a lot on my agenda - especially since we are hosting family for the event. I had three tasks I wanted to accomplish today before the boys got home: 1) find the key to the storage unit (which meant cleaning out the car), 2) grocery shopping, and 3) exercise. I was concerned about having the time to do all of them before Aaron got home from school so I decided finding the key was top priority and hoped it would happen quick enough that I could still make it to the store. I realized that I could clean out the car and grocery shop in my workout clothes. I tackled the car but still didn't find the keys. The car was in pretty bad shape so it took longer than I hoped. But, yay for a cleaner car! I said a prayer and felt that the keys were in a safe place. I started emptying my purse and found them at the very bottom of a pocket I don't use. I am sure I put them there thinking they would be safe and know where to find them next time :p Well, they certainly were safe! By this point it was about 10:30. The odds of me being able to get the shopping done and back by noon was slim, as was getting to the storage unit. So, I decided exercising was next on my list.

Today's training 1 min walk/3 min run/ 8 sets (32 min)

When I cleaned out the car it was REALLY cold outside. My feet and fingers were stiff with chill. By 11 am though I felt like being outside. I decided to take ChiMax with me instead of using the treadmill. He was so excited and I was curious what the run would be like. The verdict is in - the road is definitely harder = a better workout!! I was able to maintain a decent pace but was very aware of the inclines and bumps in the road. In the middle we came across the guy walking his dog that I try to avoid, but I wasn't able to bypass him. I ended up spending a LOT of energy trying to reign ChiMax in on a few of my sets between the other dog and a small herd of deer we came across.

Set 1 run was hard but by set 3 I felt like I had a good rhythm and could maintain running if I needed to. Normally I reset the timer for each set but since the treadmill keeps the timer running continuously I decided to manage my run that way. It made it more likely I would start and stop on the minute instead of 'cheat' a few seconds here and there which was good. Unfortunately I think I lost count at one point and ended up running for 4 minutes because the timing wasn't coming out right. Between the extra minute of running and trying to slow ChiMax down I was really winded by the end. I gave myself an extra 30 seconds of walking before set 8 and though I tried to make it up with an extra 30 seconds on the end, I just could not do it. I was too tired and sore. My quads were feeling it today.

I think that not running first thing was really helpful. I feel like I accomplished something this morning even though I didn't accomplish everything.

Week 5 end

I feel like I am cheating my program because I have been using the treadmill though technically I am not. I was supposed to be doing 6 sets of 2 walk/3 run all week but on Wednesday I only walked Chi Max for 28 minutes around the neighborhood before Aaron's bus arrived because I was on the phone most of the morning and afternoon (much needed communication with a friend back home). I was in quite the hormonal funk all week up to that point which made motivation a real challenge. Finally by the end of Wed I was freed and felt more like myself.

I wanted to be done with my running before the boys left for school yesterday and the timing worked out that I could jump on the treadmill and be done in time to get the boys up and going. So that is what I did. I decided to challenge myself though so the first set I added an incline on the walk part then sent it back to position for the run and upped the speed to 5 mph for the whole training. I kept the walk at 3.5 mph until the last two sets and then brought it down to 3.0 mph. I had to talk myself through sets 4-6 on the run because the speed was challenging to maintain at that point. But, I did it. I could feel my left ham string? wanting to cramp on me but thankfully never did.

I ended up going 2.40 miles with that speed which I like to see. It is much more fulfilling than 2. I figure if I am using the treadmill then I need to work on increasing speed because it is hard to do that consistently on the road. I think the road is definitely more of a workout challenge because it is my own effort that moves me all the time. The treadmill forces my legs to move so it is not my own power motivating me. I do think it is a lot easier on my knees though. They hadn't bothered me at all since I started the treadmill last week. I thought it was because of the cushioning of the treadmill but then they started hurting Tues or Wed and Matthew informed me a cold front was moving in. It appears they may have quit hurting because the temp had warmed up. Perhaps I have a weather gauge in my knees.

I have been having this mental battle about using the treadmill. I LOVE the convenience of the treadmill. I like that I can listen to my music while I exercise. I don't have to go out in the cold. If the boys are asleep and wake up while I am exercising I am still in the house so they can find me and not be worried they were left alone. Did I mention I don't have to go out in the cold? I am grateful that it was not an option in the beginning because it forced me outside and allowed me to see the beauty of this area and experience it firsthand as well as meet people in my neighborhood. I would have missed out on so much.  It opened up the possibilities of a 5K and half marathon in my mind because I began setting goals based on distance instead of time. It empowered me. It gave me a chance to help the dog get his energy out and feel more loved. So all those reasons make me feel guilty about using the treadmill - especially the dog and the feeling of empowerment. I keep telling myself that I should enjoy being outside while I can and save the treadmill for when the winter comes for good. But if I am more willing to go down in the basement and get the training done in a timely manner, that is worth a lot to me too. So much of my morning is spent avoiding the exercise or recovering from it that my day is almost robbed from me... It is all a big balancing and juggling act.

Starting Over: Rookie 5K RUN Day 1 (week 5)

I am continuing my training by moving to the rookie training which is an 8 week training program that prepares us to run a 5K. I skipped to week 5 because the first four weeks are basically what I did in the 5 wk walk/run training. This week is a repeat of the previous week: 6 sets of walk 2/run 3.

Quite frankly I was in a funk this morning and had no desire to get my butt off the bed and do anything but veg. In the process I ended up discovering a possibility that got me all excited. Suddenly I didn't mind getting off the bed and exercising. As odd as it seems, one of the things that sometimes creates a mental hurdle is the idea of changing my clothes. I needed to do laundry today anyway, so I decided to run on the treadmill and not change out of my pajamas. Good enough (except for the dog who feels a little cheated and wanted a treat for my efforts afterward as if we had just done our normal routine).

I decided to start the 4mph/20 min program on the treadmill for a warmup, stop it when I was ready, and begin a manual program following the 2 walk/3 run training. It worked well enough. I realized this on Saturday, but it surprised me again to find that the 6 sets = 2 miles. Kind of disappointing because I was going further out in the neighborhood but I recognize I was actually going somewhere too and had to get back which of course adds more time. I read an article this morning about the differences between treadmill and outdoor running and it explained a lot about why I found the treadmill so much easier. Maybe I wasn't as bad off as I thought I was in the beginning - it just really is harder to run outdoors (which means a better workout too).  

Because of my hodge-podge run on Saturday, I have been trying to figure out my time for the 5K and realized the timing was working out on today's run to mimic it. So when I was at 1.80 miles I was on my last set. I kicked it up to 5 mph and ran until I made it to the 2 mile mark. Surprisingly, I hit it before my 3 minutes were up. I actually had 30 seconds to spare! So, if each set is 5 minutes and it takes 3 sets per mile, my time was approximately 45 minutes. Not bad for my first 5K :)

Race Day: Mission Accomplished

I have to say that my 5K didn't look quite like I thought it would. Matthew ended up having to work today which put a big kink in my plans for the family to cheer me on to the finish line down the street. The boys were sleeping so well, so I decided to try the treadmill. Part of me wanted to say forget about it, just run it on Monday. But I also wanted to run. So, I set up the treadmill. I couldn't decided if I should actually attempt the 5K or not so I decided just to start the 4 mph/20 minute program. The program builds you up to 4 mph and you maintain it for 6 minutes the come back down as a cool down. Well, I had gotten about a third of the way in and decided to go ahead and do the 2 min walk/3 min run. By the end of the 20 minutes I had done 3 sets and gone 1.28 miles. I figured then that it would take about 9 sets - 3 for each mile. As soon as the program ended I restarted the treadmill on manual and just adjusted the speed for each set. I had gone about .25 miles when the boys came down to the basement so they were indeed there while I 'raced'.

I experienced some interesting discoveries during my race. I figured my runs have been about 4 mph on the road. I was surprised to learn that the 4 mph on the treadmill was too slow! I ran comfortably at 4.5 for my sets and my walks were 3.5. Towards the end I did bring it down to 3.0 because I could feel my heart rate was too high but it was only for one or two sets. Since I restarted the treadmill in the middle, I was constantly trying to calculate how many more miles I needed to go to finish my 5K but just to make it simpler I decided when the counter hit 2 miles then I know I completed the race. With the restart, I was at 1.80 when I decided I just wanted to be done. I should have done another set of walk/run but instead I upped my speed to 5 mph and didn't stop until I reached the 2 mile mark. So for almost a whole quarter of a mile I ran at 5 mph!! I was so amazed at myself. It felt so good :) I stayed on the treadmill and slowly brought my pace down for another almost quarter mile. My total time with warm-up and cool down was 20 + 34:44 = 54:44 and my distance was 1.28 + 2.27 = 3.55 miles.

I think the treadmill experience was so much better because the terrain was so smooth and flat. When I am running around the neighborhood there are ups and downs and uneven surfaces and a dog to pay attention to. The other advantage of the treadmill is that it is constantly moving so I have to keep pace. Basically it helps me move along. The downfall is that the basement is very dusty. I could see me getting sick from trying to run and take in all that dirt on a regular basis.

I have felt really good all day after the run. My legs aren't too sore yet either though I am sure tomorrow they will be feeling it. I decided to keep up with the training and joined the 5K rookie program but starting on week 5. The first 4 weeks are the same as what I have been doing. Week 5 repeats the 2 min/3 min interval and then the following week it is 1 min/4 min. The 5K will fall on the second week of December. The goal is to run the 5K with no walking. We'll see how it goes :)

Gearing Up

Last night I talked to the boys about my 5K. I let them decide if I should run today or tomorrow based one whether they wanted to cheer me on or not. I should not have had any doubt that they would want to be there. They were so excited and full of questions: any one else going to race? (just me and ChiMax) how long will it take you? what is your fastest time? (50 minutes) do you need water refill stations? (I carry a bottle with me) who is going to win - you or ChiMax? (ChiMax. He'll be pulling me to the end).

So, it has been decided. Saturday, Nov 10th is 5K day. I plotted out my course and have started thinking about where my sets will hit. Because of a downed tree and power line on one of the streets I usually run, I have cut it out and added the one I normally avoid. I will have to take that street and the culdesac twice to get my 3.10 miles. My start is at the next intersection up and the end is just passed the boys' bus stop. I think it may take up to 8 sets. Maybe even 9. I hope I have it in me :p

I am curious how long it will take me. My 50 minute time was based on walking for 20 of them. I haven't done a full 3 miles since running for 3 min intervals because I wanted to be done sooner. I can feel my desire to keep this up waning :P

It snowed Tues night so the weather has had me a little concerned, but thankfully it has been warming up to the 50s during the day so the snow is melting. It does freeze at night and with all the water on the ground there is potential for ice in the morning. I think it will work out well for tomorrow though.

One to go!

Today's training: 2 min walk/3 min run/6 sets

After Monday's glorious beginning, today was hard starting out. I was feeling the minute and a half tire again but the sets went relatively quickly. I did set 4 up W instead of skipping it like I normally do because I could see another dog walker up the street. Yesterday I came across the same one during one of my final sets and the effort of pulling ChiMax away totally drained my energy so I didn't want a repeat of that. W is a long straight street. It took the entire 3 minutes to get to the end of it. I cut off the culdesac at the end of the neighborhood that I usually do and headed back home. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was only out for 40 minutes but the track was only 2.46 miles. I will have to do F Friday to get my entire 5K.

I feel kind of silly for wanting this, but I kind of wish I was participating in a real 5K with my family there to cheer me on and take a pic as I cross the finish line. I thought about saving my run for Saturday so Matthew could be around with the boys to do just that but I also really like not having people watch me run and make a big deal about it. Got to get over my pride one way or the other I guess. But I must say that accomplishing this goal is huge for me and worth celebrating and memorializing on some level. I may just take a pic of myself and call it good :)

There is a nor'easter making its way up the coast and should arrive here this afternoon bringing rain and probably snow. Temps are supposed to get down in the low 30s. It was pretty nippy when I started out this morning but once the blood got flowing even my hands warmed up. The weather may play a huge factor in a Friday vs Saturday run. Now that Matthew has figured out a way to get the treadmill to work, I am liking the idea of using it all winter. The big complication for that is my running companion. He needs the exercise and opportunity to burn off all that energy he has. He is a powerful dog with a lot of energy to burn :p I really like the convenience and comfort of the treadmill. Decisions, decisions.

On another side - but relevant - note, my right knee started bothering me really bad last week especially when I would kneel on it for prayer. So much pain it made me nauseous. One night I was trying to sleep and just laying still with it straight out was uncomfortable. I was concerned that it would effect my running this week but so far it has held up. I tried wearing my knee brace Monday for my run but it was uncomfortable and not stable on the knee anyway, so I took it off. This morning my other knee was kind of bothering me too. I am wondering if it is the cold weather haunting my 9 yr old car accident injuries. If that is the case, besides being cold it is going to be a long painful winter :p

P.P.S. Yesterday I went to Goodwill to find some more jeans to wear because I have been wearing my one pair over and over. (Never thought I would be one of those people. No wonder dogs follow me ;) Anyway...) I am definitely still a size 16. My calves are getting shapely and my thighs are slowly thinning, but my middle is wear all the comfort food is. Until I start targeting my abs I won't really be making good progress down. I ended up with two pairs for $5. Not shabby for jeans I hope to not wear in another year.

To Stop is to Fall

Back in business. Oh how excited Chi Max was when he saw my running clothes!! I wasn't sure how my body would react to a week of vacation, but I was pleasantly surprised to discover it mostly did it good.

Today's routine: 3 min walk/3 min run/6 sets

The first run went amazingly well. I kind of figured for 3 minutes I should be at the end of the street, so I didn't look at the clock until I was close. I didn't feel a 1 1/2 min tire nor a 2 1/2 min tired. I was surprised when I looked at the timer and discovered I was already close to the 3 minutes. The second set went about as well though not as good. By the third set I could feel it a little more. The walk before the 3rd run I accidently went 15 seconds over, but as soon as I noticed it I started the run. Between 4 & 5 I got distracted counting my blessings and ended up adding an extra minute to my walk but the way I felt at the end, it probably did me good. Run 6 was a bear. I wanted to quit so bad at the 1 1/2 min mark, but I told myself it is just another minute and a half. You can do this. To the end of the street. Come on. Next time I looked at the clock it was 2 1/2. 30 seconds. I almost made it to 'the tree' but when I glanced at the clock I was at 3 minutes so I started walking. The movement from running (extremely slow jog) to walking almost made my knees buckle from under me. But, I made it!!

One of the sets had me go all the way around CC and to the next street. I thought about how that had been my goal before I started this training program - to eventually be able to run the whole thing, but to start with running continuously the straight part of the paths. It is exciting to think that I am almost there!! Well, I kind of am there depending on how my sets fall.  I am grateful I decided to take this goal seriously because I am actually achieving it because of the 5K and at a much faster rate than I imagined possible.

A concern of mine has been what to do when winter hits. Well, for me, this is winter. Oh I dread the 'real' winter. But it is definitely cold. From experience though, I know that once I start running I get hot. Today I dressed in a long sleeve shirt, short sleeve shirt, and a light knit jacket with a hood.     I debated whether or not to wear gloves because I was concerned at my ability to hit the buttons on my phone. I couldn't find some like I was wanting so I decided to just go without. When I got out the door and started walking I was afraid I'd made the wrong choice. But I pulled my long sleeves out and covered my fists until I walked long enough to start my sets. Sure enough, by the end of set 2 I was warm and ready to take my jacket off. I think I may be ok doing winter and continuing my training. But if not, Matthew figured out how to rig up the treadmill without it overloading the breaker. YAY!!!! I could really use some help with speed so the treadmill will be just the ticket :)

Yesterday Matthew brought up running a marathon next year. TWENTY SIX MILES?!?! I don't think so. I told him, let me get through this 5K first. He started looking at race opportunities for his birthday - 4 weeks away. I thought about it some more and realized I had been thinking about continuing my training and by Dec 1 I might be able to actually RUN the 5K with no walking. He is hoping that this goal would also motivate him to keep up his PT despite passing the test. I decided that maybe I could do a marathon by next year if I don't give up my training. I never thought this would be in my sights. Ever. I haven't made it an official goal yet, but I think it might actually be a possibility.

By the way, another storm is scheduled to hit on Wed. A nor'easter they call it. We will see if I can actually do the 5K this week :p