New week and Oatmeal in a Jar

Last night I was feeling so great I felt I could begin cardioX today. I debated this morning, but finally opted for the treadmill. I like the freedom of being able to exercise and do my computer time together. I'm hoping this way I can be a more productive member of the household as a result. I felt I wanted to run but I have had a hard enough time breathing still that I thought that would not be a wise choice so I did the pace at 3.0 and up to 4.0 for just a little bit. I went 1.77 miles in 35:24 burned 240 - basically my breakfast.

Breakfast - YUM! I had oatmeal in a jar from skinnytaste.com. This is the recipe I used though:

1/4 c. reg oats
1/2 c. milk
1 TB craisins
1/4 banana diced
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
cinn to taste

Put in a container that can be lidded, close it, shake, and let it sit over night.

I was impressed with the great flavor it had. I am considering making a larger batch because I am betting that Aaron would like it. It is similar to a meusli recipe but not so nutty and crunchy.

How to show faith in the face of Obstacles and Challenges

So today was the day of my talk. I had read and prayed and worried and thought for days. Just as a refresher, my topic was how to show faith in the face of obstacles and challenges. Earlier this week I knelt in sincere prayer and my mind was enlightened to this:

Have faith in the Savior, believe him and act according to his commands. Breaks down to taking care of the poor and needy = service.
ex Neighbor hurricane Sandy going from house to house seeing if there was a need he could help with ex reaching out to a new member of the ward 

I turned to Alma 34 and saw this:

17 Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your ^afaith unto repentance, that ye begin to ^bcall upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you;
28 And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye^aturn away the ^bneedy, and the ^cnaked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and ^dimpart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your ^eprayer is ^fvain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as ^ghypocrites who do deny the faith.
 29 Therefore, if ye do not remember to be ^acharitable, ye are as dross, which the refiners do cast out, (it being of no worth) and is trodden under foot of men.

I spent the next several days reading and studying chapters 31 - 34 and saw and felt so much from this study, I had no idea how to convey it in a coherent form. I realized I was spending a lot of time on the faith portion of it that I had not even taken into account the part about challenges. I looked up adversity in the lds.org database and discovered Elder Ballard's talk from this last conference and felt that it was everything I was trying to convey. Unfortunately I can't just re-read his talk. As I looked at other talks I discovered one from Elder Eyring that was a lesson on Alma 31 - 34. Again, just what I was thinking!! There were a few other talks that seemed especially relevant like Elder Anderson's on repentance.

Yesterday I was able to spend a good portion of my morning studying and trying to flush it out. I have pages of notes from my study of the Alma chapters. I could see that there was a connection regarding prayer between the Zoramites, Alma and the teachings of Amulek. I also felt like what I was looking for was a lesson on charity. My family responsibilities kept me from spending more time on it until the evening when the boys were in bed. I continued to go in circles until I made a promise to work until the laundry was done then go to bed and figure it out in the morning.

By the time I went to bed Aaron was awake. I got him taken care of and then went to bed. As soon as I laid down he was at the door asking for me to snuggle with him otherwise he wouldn't be able to go  back to sleep. So I went to bed with Aaron at 2 am and was woken by Matthew at 6 am to go our bed. I did NOT want to get up this morning. I finally managed to pull myself up about 8:30. I spent the morning continuing to make notes. It helped to print all the pages I was looking at online because then I could highlight the thoughts that seemed most relevant. Soon I had to refresh for my  Primary lesson too and all I could do was pray and hope something came out good. I mentioned to Matthew I thought it would be nice if I could have someone sit with my class during sharing time so I could finish thinking. He was supposed to teach that hour but no one showed up so he surprised me and took over the class so I could go work again. By the end of that hour I had a coherent talk.

I was feeling so nervous and shaky today. Part of the pressure I felt was knowing this was my first talk in the ward - my introduction of sorts. Since the assignment came by email, I am betting that the Bishopric member who asked me didn't even know me by sight because he passed me several times while I sat in the hall and never said a word. I had made a comment about speaking today on FB so I had several people comment to me about being ready and encouraging me. When I sat down on the stand I was trembling! I was relieved to see I was the second speaker. The men I sat beside were very kind and offered a somewhat calming presence. As the meeting began, I could see the tender mercies of the Lord unfolding. The opening hymn was How Great Thou Art - one of my favorite and very communing one for me - and the Sacrament hymn was In Humility Our Savior - another favorite. Music is so vital to me as a centering force. The next tender mercy was that our housemate offered the opening prayer. He was aware I had sat at that table for hours and knew I was struggling with the talk. He offers very heart felt prayers and this one was no different. He prayed for us as the speakers and for them as a congregation. He also happened to mention the need to serve each other - the very point I hoped to get across. During the sacrament I prayed some more and let my mind just open up and try to imagine what I was going to say. The ideas flowed and felt right. I took a few notes and hoped I could get them out of my head and into the microphone.

The other pressure was wondering if our topics would overlap. Remember how I said I didn't feel that my old talk was quite right? I kept feeling like it was the basics and I needed to take it a step further. The youth speaker covered faith - and quite well. (Good thing his was a short talk too b/c I made up for it) I was impressed with his ability to cover the topic clearly and concisely. He used the quotes from Alma 32:21. Interestingly, the closing speaker gave the rest of my old talk - the experiment on the word and even used their own experience with infertility.  He did take it a step beyond and covered repentance which was one of the topics I kept feeling I should harp on a bit but never quite made it in my talk.

So what did I actually say? I have no idea what all I said. I just got up and started talking and touched on just a few of the quotes I'd pulled! ha :) As Matthew and I were pulling up into the parking lot before church I had told him of the concern I felt about what kind of impression I was going to make with this first talk. He said it couldn't be any worse than his after he first arrived here (I have never heard him give a bad talk) and then he said he thinks it may have even been a similar topic. I told him that my initial thought had been to talk about the challenge of the last year but didn't really know how to and tie it in or if I even wanted to. He understood. I told him that in case it comes out anyway, would he mind if I shared details. He of course did mind and said he'd prefer I didn't. I said ok and that was that. Well I kept my promise but I also was true to my feeling.

I began by introducing myself and sharing that I grew up in TX and lived there until we arrived here in August. I told them my first thought when I received the topic was our recent experience with the move. I mentioned that Matthew had lived here for a year while I stayed behind to sell the house so I got to be a single parent for a year to our two boys. I shared the opposition and resistance I experienced from family and friends at the reality of me moving. I shared the vision the Lord gave me of the garden as I mourned the friendships I would not make with those moving into the ward as I prepared to leave. I didn't blog about this vision but I journaled it. Basically each of us is a plant in a garden and sometimes transplants have to be made for the mutual benefit of everyone. I told the members that I had visited the ward once when we dropped Matthew off a year ago and yet I felt a homesickness for them. I don't know why, but obviously we need each other. I thanked them for their examples and fellowshipping.  Then I started moving into the rest of my talk.

My second impression about the topic was that our faith is in Jesus Christ.  What does that mean and how does it influence our life?  Even in our hardest and darkest times and circumstances, do our actions and thoughts reflect our belief or faith and hope that Jesus is the Son of God who came to earth,”suffering pains and ^aafflictions and^btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ^ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him ^adeath, that he may ^bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to ^csuccor his people according to their infirmities.”? (Alma 7:11-12)

Elder Eyring said

My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.

I think at this point I gave a nod to our housemate about his prayer and his example of service. 

I then told them that I was studying Alma 31 - 34 and wanted them to compare the prayers of these groups of people. First the Zoramites and then Alma:

Alma and his teaching companion Amulek had gone to the land of the Zoramites – people who once had the fullness of the gospel and turned away from it. If you recall, these are the people who built the tower called Rameumptom (meaning the holy stand) and offered the same prayer once a week about how they were separated from their brethren as the chosen people of God and how grateful they were to know there should be no Christ because no one could know the future. Then they went home and never spoke of God again until they returned to their pulpit and offered the same prayer the following week. Their hearts were set on the things of the world and thus turned away the poor and the needy.

Contrast the Zoramite prayer with that of Alma as he prepared himself for the challenges he faced as a missionary. The italics are an emphasis of things prayed for that we can emulate.

 31 O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul ^ain Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these ^bafflictions which shall come upon me, because of the iniquity of this people. (I emphasized that Alma recognized affliction would come because of the choices of these people and that sometimes our trial is the result of other people's actions)

 32 O Lord, wilt thou comfort my soul, and give unto me success, and also my fellow laborers who are with me…yea, even all these wilt thou comfort, O Lord. Yea, wilt thou comfort their souls in Christ.

 33 Wilt thou grant unto them that they may have strength, that they may ^abear their afflictions which shall come upon them because of the iniquities of this people.

 34 O Lord, wilt thou grant ^aunto us that we may have success in bringing them again unto thee in Christ.

 35 Behold, O Lord, their ^asouls are precious, and many of them are our brethren; therefore, give unto us, O Lord, power and wisdom that we may bring these, our brethren, again unto thee. (I pointed out that Alma prayed for these wicked people and recognized that they were of worth even though they would cause them afflictions). 

At this point I could feel the Spirit strong and could tell others felt it as well. There was power in that part of my message. 

I should have left it at those two prayers but then I read Amulek's teaching on prayer in Alma 34:17-30 (people started falling asleep here. I should have gone straight from vs 17 to 29 & 30. I pointed out that unless we taking care of the poor and the needy - not just physically by emotionally and spiritually, then our prayers are in vain. We could be praying like Alma but unless we serve others it is of no worth) and then the Ammonites example as they took in the poor of the Zoramites in 35:9: 

And he breathed out many threatenings against them. And now the people of Ammon did not fear their words; therefore they did not cast them out, but they did receive all the poor of the Zoramites that came over unto them; and they did ^anourish them, and did clothe them, and did give unto them lands for their inheritance; and they did administer unto them according to their wants.

I asked them who do they most identify with? Are they like the Zoramites who come to church once a week and feel great about themselves and take no thought the rest of the week? Or are they like Alma? or even the people of Ammon who took care of the poor and then provided lands of inheritance - our land of inheritance is eternal life.

I think at this point I moved to Elder Ballard's talk:

 Only when our testimony transcends what is in our mind and burrows deep into our heart will our motivation to love and to serve become like unto the Savior’s. It is then, and only then, that we become deeply converted disciples of Christ empowered by the Spirit to reach the hearts of our fellowmen.

When our hearts are no longer set upon the things of this world, we will no longer aspire to the honors of men or seek only to gratify our pride (see D&C 121:35–37). Rather, we take on the Christlike qualities that Jesus taught:

• • 
  We are gentle and meek and long-suffering (see D&C 121:41).
• • 
  We are kind, without hypocrisy or guile (see D&C 121:42).
• • 
  We feel charity toward all men (see D&C 121:45).
• • 
  Our thoughts are always virtuous (see D&C 121:45).
• • 
  We no longer desire to do evil (see Mosiah 5:2).
• • 
  The Holy Ghost is our constant companion, and the doctrines of the priesthood distill upon our souls as the dews from heaven (see D&C 121:45–46).
• ...
• How do we make this change? How do we ingrain this love of Christ into our hearts? There is one simple daily practice that can make a difference for every member of the Church, including you boys and girls, you young men and you young women, you single adults, and you fathers and mothers.
  That simple practice is: In your morning prayer each new day, ask Heavenly Father to guide you to recognize an opportunity to serve one of His precious children. Then go throughout the day with your heart full of faith and love, looking for someone to help. Stay focused, just like the honeybees focus on the flowers from which to gather nectar and pollen. If you do this, your spiritual sensitivities will be enlarged and you will discover opportunities to serve that you never before realized were possible.
  President Thomas S. Monson has taught that in many instances Heavenly Father answers another person’s prayers through us—through you and me—through our kind words and deeds, through our simple acts of service and love.
  And President Spencer W. Kimball said: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 82)."
  I shared a time when I was feeling really low and realized I was too much in myself and needed to get outside my box, so I started making phone calls and reaching out to others. In turn, I was lifted as well.
  My final thought came from Alma 33:21-23

  21 O my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly, or would ye rather harden your hearts in ^aunbelief, and be ^bslothful, that ye would not cast about your eyes, that ye might perish?
   22 If so, wo shall come upon you; but if not so, then cast about your eyes and ^abegin to believe in the Son of God, that he will come to redeem his people, and that he shall suffer and die to ^batone for their sins; and that he shall ^crise again from the dead, which shall bring to pass the ^dresurrection, that all men shall stand before him, to be ^ejudged at the last and judgment day, according to their^fworks.
   23 And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall ^aplant this word in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, ^bspringing up in you unto ^ceverlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your^dburdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye ^ewill. Amen.
  

  
  

I would like to say I felt a relief when I sat down but I didn't stop shaking for awhile after church. I was told that it was a good talk and I think my experience with moving resonated with several people because this a transient ward and long hours away from spouses is pretty typical. I feel like I covered what I was supposed to. The only quote I wished I had remembered to give was this from Elder Anderson's talk:

For most, repentance is more a journey than a one-time event. It is not easy. To change is difficult. It requires running into the wind, swimming upstream. Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.” ¹⁸ Repentance is turning away from some things, such as dishonesty, pride, anger, and impure thoughts, and turning toward other things, such as kindness, unselfishness, patience, and spirituality. It is “re-turning” toward God.

Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving and working to repent, you are in the process of repenting.

As we improve, we see life more clearly and feel the Holy Ghost working more strongly within us.

But, the closing speaker covered repentance well enough that I really didn't need to. When I looked at the clock as I sat down, there was 15 min left of the meeting and we still needed to sing an intermediate hymn. I had heard the closing speaker mention to the Bishopric member that his talk wasn't very long. It wasn't really but we ended about 5 minutes late because I had eaten into his time.

I am so grateful for the prayers offered on my behalf today. I needed them and I felt them. The Lord offered his mercies and I can honestly say I felt more like myself today than I have in awhile. I've missed that companionship with Heavenly Father. I needed this talk and the opportunity to "re-turn toward God."

Sick day

Ugh. Sick. Hope it passes quick... don't think I'll be exercising today or counting calories....

Weigh in day: Week 1

I realized yesterday that our scale was one of the things that was left behind in the move :/ This morning I put together the Wii. It has been calling to me anyway with one of the other contesters (sp?) using it for her exercise and weighing. According to the Wii I am 179.7. I really should have weighed or measured last week so I could have consistency. argh. I can feel a difference this morning (I feel a little smaller) but I have a hard time believing I really dropped 4.3 pounds in a week. It just happens that the one using the Wii has lost 3.8 so maybe it is possible. We will see how it all comes out I guess.

I did not exercise yesterday and had planned on walking with the neighbor this morning but Jared stayed home sick so we will try for tomorrow. I probably should be updating this on the treadmill....ok, now I am set up. I am going to attempt to do my 5 mph program with my 'desk'. 

 

When Aaron got home yesterday I made a smoothie. In the past I've used yogurt as the base but we were low on yogurt so I made it with milk and soy protein powder instead. He wanted chocolate so I added cocoa powder, spoonful of sugar, and hazelnut spread then added the usual kale, spinach, banana, and cantalope. It was amazingly delicious! I decided to play around with the nutrient setting on MFP (*didn't quite work to do the program and type. Had to quit and now it is the end of the day when I finish this entry...) and check out my sugar intake. The smoothie pushed me over by 31 g (or whatever the measurement is!) I was shocked and thought maybe it was the hazelnut spread or the spoonful of sugar. Turns out it was the fruit. *sigh* 

It was really eye opening to go through my food diary and see what my totals looked like. I discovered my iron intake is really low. I have had lower iron levels my entire life. I might be in the healthy or normal range when I've done blood tests, but it is always on the borderline low side. I did a little research on iron rich foods and discovered the cocoa powder is actually quite full of iron.        When I looked back at all the foods I'd eaten, interestingly enough the breads were a major source of iron. I found it ironic that the things that had the highest calories or carbs also tended to have the highest iron - tortillas, english muffins, chocolate (just to name a few). The cocoa powder actually has a very low calorie count and has no sugar, so by itself it is not bad. Spinach was another great source as well as the butternut squash. I decided for lunch to make a high iron meal. I ended up making scrambled eggs with the squash, kale, and spinach. What would fit in an english muffin I put in it and ate the rest. I am really loving the butternut squash! Between the lunch and a smoothie I was able to really boost my iron today. In fact at the end of the day I am just 7 units away from making the daily goal. woohoo!!

Weekend Catchup part 2

So I ended up walking a total of 71 minutes and over two miles while on the computer - giving me an additional 366 calories to burn. I think my idea was pretty ingenious and a big eye opener. I realize that I would have spent all that time on the computer anyway, but seriously?! Granted, I wasn't just on facebook or checking my email that entire time. I read my lesson for Primary and worked on my talk as well. I am considering whether I should do a program on the treadmill anymore or just walk while I do my computer time because obviously it will be well spent :P I have already met my weekly exercise time and calorie burn goal. I am excited for the weigh in (though that means I really need to find the scale....) Every day I have been under my caloric intake.

 I am really glad I had so many to use today because the butternut squash & kale quesadilla I made for lunch was amazing and 600 calories. I had no idea kale could taste so good!!

Here is today's total:

I actually drank all 8 cups of water today too. Go me!!

Weekend Catchup

I had a brilliant idea today - make my treadmill a desk! So I am typing this while walking on the treadmill. If I have typos please forgive me. I have had to retype quite a few words.

I want to take weekends off for exercise, but I was certainly productive which makes me happy. Even better, I played with the boys and they helped clean their room Saturday. Yesterday was another great day. I am loving the afternoon church schedule!! (at least, I did this week ;)) As for food intake, I did really well. I took my measuring cups and spoons to the dinner table which elicited all kinds of questions from the boys. I am not quite sure how to answer their question satisfactorily. All I have said is that I am keeping a record of what I am eating and I need to know exactly how much everything is to do so. Since yesterday was fast Sunday and with afternoon church it was like a free day so I didn't measure anything.

Yesterday as I was going down to the basement my foot slipped through one of the steps. It got pretty bruised and even hurts a little to walk on it. I was hesitant to exercise today in fear of further damaging my ankle, but I laced up my shoes and did it anyway. I decided to just go for it and did the 5mph program. Oh man I thought I would have to quit it because it was so hard, but after the first 'break' back down to 4.5 I felt like I could do it. In fact that was my mantra the whole time: You've got this. You can do it. Only a couple more. And I did do it. And I wouldn't say it was 'easy', but it was doable. I didn't even have to count down the clock for each set.

I brought down the laptop hoping I could listen to some things while I worked but the speakers weren't loud enough. Then I had the idea that if I had a board across the arms of the treadmill I could work while I walked. After my program was done I found a board, and voila! At this point I have gone 1.03 miles, burned 146 more calories, and typed for 26 min. I drank 2 bottles of water so I will probably have to stop soon though.........

Ah, the other exciting thing. I accomplished my goal of talking to the neighbor about exercising together. She was so excited I asked her. We are going to walk Mon and Wed at 9 am. We start Wed. YAY!!!

Treadmill 5mph 30 min

I am really sore from my calisthenics yesterday :p My abs and sides ache.

I chose the 5 mph program today because I wanted the 30 minutes to log. It was hard, but I did it. Thankfully it was one minute intervals with a one minute 'break' at 4.5 mph. The distance was 1.81. 

Before when I've done the treadmill I spent the time reading scriptures or other uplifting things. Since the machine is in the basement and I can't find the large print scriptures yet, I was only able to read a little bit before having to put it down which left me with a lot of meditation time. I was thinking about my talk and all the challenges we've gone through, but instead of being humble about it I could see that I was marking off a list and came off sounding really .... ??.... insincere? non sympathetic? boastful? Not quite sure what, but I realized I was full of pride and need to humble myself. I have struggled to feel the Spirit and I think it boils down to humility. I have become calloused since the move and to protect myself I've closed off my heart. I need to forgive and love.

I was reading in 3 Nephi 13 and verses 19-21 (which happens to be the same as Matthew 6:19-21) really struck out to me. 

 19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where ^amoth and rust doth corrupt, and thieves break through and steal;
 20 But lay up for yourselves ^atreasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
 21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

I realized the counsel is to worry about the things of God more than the materialism of the world because the earthly treasures can be lost, but the spiritual things - like our faith, hope, charity, - can not be taken away. How we spend our time and energy creates who we are. I suppose I already knew that, but, as I said, it struck out to me today.

As I am re-reading it right now it is a great intro into the rest of the chapter as the Savior tells his apostles to not worry about the clothing and food because the Lord is aware of the need and will take care of it.  
33 But ^aseek ye first the ^bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Talk

I have been asked to give a talk on the 13th on how to show faith in the face of obstacles and challenges. Ironically, it is a very similar topic from my last talk. I was re-reading a lot of my posts in search of that entry and man I am amazed at myself! I need to start at the beginning of my blog and remind myself of who I am and what I have done. There are some really amazing insights and experiences documented. Yay for journals!

Day 2

I spent the morning trying to figure out the fastest workout to do and managed to spend more time procrastinating than if I'd have just done the cardioX video :/ By the time everyone was out of the house it was already 8:45 am, so I did dishes then made the mistake of looking something up on the computer and checking facebook (and MFP - my new addiction :p). Finally at 9:55 I started doing leg lifts and situps on the bed while watching videos. I did a total of about 15 minutes of various calisthenics. It really doesn't amount to much, but it is better than nothing. It's the most my abs have been worked on in months so it is better than nothing. My legs are still sore from yesterday. It is my intent to do the 5 mph/30 min on the treadmill tomorrow. I also want to make it to the grocery store before Aaron gets out so I really need to stay on top of things.

Matthew requested I take Aaron to the art museum tomorrow because that is his number one request every time an outing is mentioned. It never occurred to me to take him while Jared is in school. Isn't that sad?!

Here is how my food intake panned out today. I didn't end up eating breakfast and didn't drink as much water either. My fat went through the roof as a result of 9 Chili's tortilla chips. Isn't that awful?! But they are SO good!!

If every day were like today...   You'd weigh 176.8 lbs in 5 weeks 

Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken

Crockpot Santa Fe Chicken from skinnytaste.com

Really easy to make and good flavor. I used frozen chicken and it was ready in 6 hours. I had it as a taco and over rice. I preferred the rice. Avocado would have made a wonderful addition to it. We layered the chicken over rice and topped it with cheese, lettuce, sour cream and salsa. 1 cup is a serving, so I reserved my one cup and was able to make two or three "helpings" out of it for a total of 726 calories with all the fixings (1 cup rice, 1.5 TB sour cream, 1 c lettuce, 1/2 c cheddar cheese, salsa and one taco shell. We also had Chili's tortilla chips. That was bad. Blew my fat count way out of the ballpark!!)

Getting Started. Again.

So I began the challenge of keeping a food diary and working on my goal to exercise 3 times a week. I wasn't sure what I wanted to begin with, but convinced myself I could do it for 20 minutes. I got on the treadmill and did the 4 mph 20 min program. It turns out I need to do 30 minutes of exercise but oh well. Perhaps next time I will do the 5 mph 30 minute program instead. I am actually sore tonight. It felt good to walk out of the basement and see it was only 9 am. I knew if I hopped in the shower right then I would lose my umph and end up wasting the rest of the morning while I felt productive right then. I reminded myself I can work around the house before I showered - and I could even go grocery shopping if I had the time - so I did! I took care of the dishes, vacuumed the living room, read scriptures, and went through the grocery ad. By the time I was ready to update MFP (myfitnesspal) it was already after 10:30. I managed to get a shower in just minutes before picking up Aaron. I felt so productive! I was also very tired, but I felt like I accomplished a lot today too.

I was afraid to put anything in my mouth today because I'd have to calculate the calories :P Thankfully MFP has a HUGE database already so it isn't much of a challenge to do so. The biggest issue was remembering to measure out portions. After supper I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I still had 390 calories to use. I was so excited because man I still felt so hungry!! Here was today's totals:

I have only been looking at calories so I was surprised to see the red for carbs and protein. I guess I need to pay more attention to that....

As for my other goals, I am almost done with the spreadsheet and can't wait to start checking it off!

Edited to add:

I just got a note from MFP that says:

If every day were like today...   You'd weigh 178.7 lbs in 5 weeks 

It seemed discouraging until I realized that I am at 184, not 180.

Happy New Year!

Another year has come and gone. As is well documented, I have been struggling with finding the balance and motivation to exercise, be a productive member of the household, and find joy in the journey. I had the privilege of going to North Carolina this last week. It was soothing and rejuvenating to be in a clean, bright and beautiful environment. I told my SIL I could use a good dose of OCD lol I was also able to get a copy of my beloved cardioX so no more of those excuses.  

It is time for the annual Lettuce Eat Cake contest.  The contest has been moved from the weebly web site to myfitnesspal which is similar to sparkpeople and weight watchers. So, I find myself committed to a program with no game plan. I snuck on to the scale while at my bro's house and got an actual number to my weight: 184 - as I expected. I need to figure out a schedule that I could work with - and a menu plan. According to MFP to lose 1 pound a week my daily calorie intake should be 1540. I would rather not eat than count calories :p 

I decided to look back at my blog for motivation and insight. I started Weight Watchers Jan 2010 at 180 pounds. Sounds familiar. By the start of the first lettuce eat cake contest on the 18th I was already down to 177. I had a few tools to help me - Matthew was on board and practicing along side me, we had a working digital scale, I was already working out and I had friends to workout with. It takes so much time and effort - and a great desire. I need the true desire :/ Anyway, my original point was going to be that if I did it once, I could do it again. I am in the same place physically. I need to get there mentally. I should start with a game plan:

*Find exercise partners. 

(Ranita, Carol, send email to ward members)

*Use a menu.  

(Either repeat my blog menu or do the diabetic cookbook bc it has breakfast, lunch, and dinner planned out.)

*Exercise at least 3 times a week. 

(Mon, Wed, Fri)

*Be in bed by 11 pm 

(Boys need to be in bed by 8:30 so I can go to bed - which also means dinner needs to be ready by 5 - 5:30 pm)

*Buy a food scale

*Prepare an exercise space

"Other" ideas:

*Try Flylady again 

(Apparently I need someone over my shoulder telling me what to do and when)

*re-introduce the chore chart

*make family rules prominent in the home

 (want discipline to be based on rules broken)

*have consistent FHE and family & personal scripture study

*make date night a priority (at least once a month)

*get a new tablecloth

(I hate having a tablecloth on the table, but that is the way this family rolls. So if I get one that is more neutral maybe I can see the dirt better and be more willing to keep it clean)

*sew Aaron's shoe & Jared's scout shirt

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My internet went out while typing this up, so I decided to save it offline and ended up creating a goal spreadsheet so I can check it off as I go along. I also 'got off the couch' (or bed in this case) and cleaned the bathroom and put the first load of laundry in. I also ate 3 cookies. It's balance, right? lol oh man I have a lot of work ahead of me! :)

 

Mystery

I had my camera's SD card in the laptop when we went out Saturday night to eat and brought the computer along to do our budget meeting. After we were home and I went to my computer, the card was gone. I can't imagine how it could have just fallen out of the computer and yet the computer was in our possession the entire time. I have no idea where it could be. This card is our NJ history. I hope it turns up soon. I keep wanting to upload pictures or take more :(

Christmas musings

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

I spent a lot of the afternoon painting and coloring with Aaron. I decided to pull out my watercolors and just create. I ended up producing the above. I spent a long time trying to figure out what I wanted to do about people because I didn't think I could do them justice. I liked the empty manger but Aaron insisted it needed the baby Jesus. I debated what color to make the blanket and Aaron chose the blue. I was surprised when as I formed the blanket the Spirit touched my heart in testimony of the sacredness of that night and the truth of the nativity story. I am grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Boy Toy

Part of my creative itch is a desire to do something with the boys. Memory making. That's what I am after. I laid awake for a few hours in the middle of the night and used the time sifting through pintrest. I was looking for Christmas and kid crafts. By the next morning I found a gem - a catapult made from craft sticks. 

Jared looked at the picture very carefully, counted each stick and together we made our first catapult:

Aaron made one as well and soon battle ensued with lincoln logs as ammo.

I went to go shower and while I was gone Jared proceeded to make five more!! They played all morning long. I think my plan to make memories worked this day.

Birds

I have been in the mood to create and though I have plenty of projects I could finish, I wanted to do something new. I had high hopes for creating things this Christmas season, but have gotten a really slow start. I was searching through www.allpeoplequilt.com looking at the handmade ornament patterns and came across two that were particularly interesting: a star and wild bird ornaments. 

apqshop.com wild birds

I had hoped to get the pattern for the bird but discovered it would cost $5.99. I figured for $6 I could figure it out close enough. I dug through my stash of fabric and with Aaron's help began my version. 

My first task was to figure out a way to create a pattern. I thought about printing the picture displayed but it seemed too daunting to try and manipulate the sizing with the printer and scanner. It finally occurred to me it would be simple to do the manipulating with just the computer screen. So I zoomed in on the picture until I got the size I wanted, put my white cardstock on the screen and traced the bird like a transparency. 

Once I had my template it was pretty straight forward. Put right sides together, stitch leaving a hole to turn inside out, stuff and piece together. I did realize that the wings had to be sewn on to each side of the bird before stitching the body together. I also sewed in a ribbon on the top so the bird could hang like an ornament. My biggest challenge was getting the sewing machine foot over the big  poofy wings and having some rough looking attachment seams. I don't know how the designer was able to have no seams showing on the wings. It is a mystery. I thought about just doing a topstitch all the way around so that the seams would just be part of the end product and maybe give it a more finished look but decided against it. 

I have never made a stuffed animal before, but I think it isn't bad for a first time. Aaron was pretty happy with it :) The only thing I still need to do is give her some eyes and a family. 

I used polyfil to stuff the bird, but I am wondering if just putting a layer of batting would give it the filled look but also soften the poof enough to make it more like an ornament and less like a stuffed animal.