Haters

Someone posted on Facebook the most recent link on the Matt Walsh blog called: An inspirational message to the Haters of America and read it. I have enjoyed a lot of his posts, besides being intrigued by the picture linked with the article. It is a picture of a toned Maria Kang posing with her three children ages 3 and under with the caption, "What's Your excuse?" Read both their articles. Man, it brought back memories from my weigh loss journey. I just spent probably an hour (yep, not really good use my of time) searching through my blog for my posts where I talk about some of the negative feedback I received regarding my weight loss and how it affected me:

From June 2010 when I finally reached my weight loss goal (150 lbs):

"I mentioned to someone that I had a hard time finding something to wear this morning because my clothes are too big, and the response was sarcasm about having such a problem. I have come to realize that there comes a point where people stop rooting for you quite so much and feel more jealousy instead. I feel uncomfortable sharing excitement or milestones about my weight loss efforts (outside of my blog which was purposed for this journey) because I don't want to draw too much attention to it. When I had my big weight loss effort a few years ago, it seemed like all the ladies in the ward were on the same kick and it was a group effort. There was one person who began the trend and was like a beacon to us. If she can do it - and she looks great - we can too. I am grateful for her example and contagious enthusiasm. As someone who looked up to her for her accomplishments, I didn't really pay attention to anything other than her inspiration."

The same day I wrote that post, I also wrote this in my journal:

"Alright, I admit it. Today I am not ok with having lost a baby. In December I thought the new body coming would be a baby, not a new one for me. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that I've been able to accomplish such an amazing feat - and it really is. I am so proud of myself for reaching my weight loss goal. But as the time draws near for when I'd be delivering, I feel a remorse. Whenever **** comments about my weight loss, this trade-off is always my first thought."

Six months later I wrote this post when I'd started to gain it back (155 lbs):

"It still throws me off when I hear people - strangers, or people not in my closer circle of friends - call me or refer to me as thin or skinny. One night with one such reference, in jest a person said, 'You're thin so that means we don't like you.' I realized how awful the prejudice is that overweight people can have against thinner people. I have felt those same feelings of jealousy and intimidation that can come from being around thinner people, but I realized they are unfair. Thin people are people with feelings too. It was a little bit shocking and hurt my feelings to be told that someone wouldn't like me because of my stature. 

Now that I'm writing this, I can't remember the specifics of another chink to my motivation. I know it has to do with jokes/comments that are made regarding my weight loss from people closer to me. The end result is that I feel like I have to eat more to feel accepted. 

I am a people pleaser. I want others to be happy, so I will do what it takes to make sure that happens - even at my own expense (or even my family's). Helping ensure the happiness of others is not a bad thing. However, I think in this case I need to not worry so much about what others think and just be happy myself. This is a very hard thing for me to do."

Here's a couple of quotes from Matt Walsh's article that I want to shout out:

"And this is where I must stop you, Haters. Be as thin-skinned, jealous, and spiteful as you like, but you have no right to take someone else’s successes away from them. You have no right to invalidate their achievements. You have no place. You have no standing. You have not the single, slightest damned clue as to what you’re babbling about. She had it easier than you? What genie from what bottle gave you the power to peer inside a stranger’s conscience and confirm that wild speculation? Are you sure she didn’t just work harder? Why have you ruled that possibility out entirely?

Success ...  can’t be accomplished passively. These are the fruits of labor that you don’t see, and maybe can’t even fathom. You aren’t inside their minds to hear that voice telling them to give up, to give in, to stop trying. You can’t hear them fight with that voice every minute of the day.

Nothing is easy, Haters. Everything is earned. They have it because they earned it. You don’t because you didn’t. Deal with it.

So here’s the good news: you don’t have to be like this. I’m not saying you should be a bodybuilder, or a millionaire, or anything else; I’m just saying you don’t have to hate success. When you see someone smiling proudly after hitting their target, you don’t have to respond with childish mockery and derision. You don’t have to feel attacked or insulted just because your neighbor is finding happiness and fulfillment in his chosen pursuits. You think your only recourse in the face of greatness is to try to discredit it, but you’re wrong. Your efforts are futile anyway, and they’re also wholly unnecessary. You only carry on like this because you’ve given up on yourselves. You’re running around knocking down sandcastles because you think you aren’t capable of building your own. But you can, my friends. You’re exploding with potential. It would leak out of your pores if only you’d uncross your arms and break a sweat. You can be great at something, I know it. Leave your Hating ways behind and take a step or two down the path to success. It won’t be easy, but the best parts of life are never the easiest parts."