Copy of the talk I gave in Sacrament Mtg today. I should have stopped where I put the astericks. I was at about 10 minutes at that point and talked for 16 minutes. I ended up sitting down and feeling like I was advertising for my piano lessons - which I wasn't trying to do.:
Over the last few weeks I have felt such an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all that the Lord has done for us/me that I found myself thinking that if the next week were Fast Sunday I'd share my testimony. Well, apparently the Lord prepared a way around the calendar for me - and I am indeed grateful for the opportunity.
The topic is the first principle of the gospel: Faith in Jesus Christ. I think of Faith in Jesus Christ as being our willingness to act on the Lord's commands because we trust and believe that Jesus Christ did what he said he would do - which is atone for our sins and be resurrected, and that the Lord continues to act as an influence in our lives. Scripturally, faith as discussed in Alma 32:21 "is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." Paul also testifies in
Hebrews 11:1 that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." So faith is not knowing all the answers, but you act according to the belief in the answers you do have.
In
Moroni 7, Mormon asks:
41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.
42 Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.
43 And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.
44 If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
It is not enough for us to believe in the Savior and hope that we'll make it back to live with Him. One way we can gauge the quality of our faith and testimony is by the love we feel for others and how we treat them. I have found in my own life that when I am in the midst of a good relationship with the Savior, an innate desire to share the gospel grows because I feel confident in my beliefs and a kinship with the people I come in contact with. I am able to see them as a child of God and I literally feel love for them even though I may not know them. There have been a few times in my life when I felt true charity. Once such time was part of the mantle of stewardship while in a leadership position as a youth. Another time was in my college years. I don't remember all the details, only that I was praying about missionary work. I do remember that feeling of love for others so strongly, but it is fleeting when we don't nurture or maintain our testimony and relationship with the Savior.
So, how do we increase our faith in the Savior?
Docterine & Covenants 88:118 tells us "And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith." It is a process that must be studied, practiced and worked at just like any other skill. The prophet
Alma in the Book of Mormon likened increasing our faith to planting a seed.
27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.
28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.
29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge
The process begins with a desire to have faith in Jesus. We can learn who He is by studying His life and words in the scriptures, praying to develop a relationship with Him, and then acting on the things we learn. This is the great experiment. We will soon discover for ourselves what is truth. As we learn truth and seek greater understanding, our faith will continue to grow.
Alma continues:
36 Behold I say unto you, ... neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.
37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.
39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.
40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.
41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
42 ... behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.
When we were in the trenches of the trial of infertility, there came a point where I was literally putting one spiritual foot in front of the other to make it through each day. My faith and testimony were shaken. I couldn't discern my own thoughts from the Lord's voice anymore. I read my scriptures and prayed without feeling but knew there was a level of blessing that came from going through the motions even though my heart wasn't in it. I knew I couldn't afford to stop moving altogether. It was a dark time for me. I came to a point where I knew I needed to learn the voice of the Lord again. I relied on Alma's process of experimenting on the word. It was a simple, small experiment but it made all the difference. I needed to buy new shoe laces for Matthew. I went to Dollar Tree to hunt for them and found them. I had this feeling though that I shouldn't buy them. I had a choice to make. I could either listen to the feeling or brush it off. I decided to test the feeling and went to Wal-Mart to price them. Wal-Mart's shoe laces were 88 cents and had an extra set in them. At that moment, I knew I'd felt the promptings of the Spirit. I reveled in that feeling and committed that feeling of the Spirit to memory so that I would be able to recognize it again. Another opportunity came for something that I don't even remember at this point, but I felt that warning voice again and told Matthew what I felt. We decided to follow my prompting. Again we were blessed. Out of that small 12 cent experiment, my faith and testimony was nourished and allowed to grow and blossom again. Our trial of infertility did not stop because I learned the voice of the Lord again, but it did give me an anchor of hope to endure to the end. I received reassurances through Priesthood blessings that the desires of my heart would soon be fulfilled. Soon is relative, but I knew the Lord keeps His promises.
As we pray for the Lord's help, we have to be willing to do our part. In
Faith Precedes the Miracle, President Spencer W. Kimball said: "In faith we plant the seed, and soon we see the miracle of the blossoming. Men have often misunderstood and reversed the process." He continued by explaining that many of us want to have health and strength without keeping the health laws. We want to have prosperity without paying our tithes. We want to be close to the Lord but don't want to fast and pray. We want to have rain in due season and to have peace in the land without observing the Sabbath as a holy day and without keeping the other commandments of the Lord. (See
Faith Precedes the Miracle, p. 4)
For us in our experience with infertility, I had to show the Lord I was willing and committed to do my part by putting my life in the hands of medical technology. This was a hard thing for me to do because I don't even like taking medicine for a headache. I still remember clearly the night that I made that decision and the feeling of relief and peace and excitement I felt. That decision was the beginning of many miracles and blessings for us.
I testify that the Lord knows us individually and intimately. He loves us, and if we let Him, He will direct our lives in a manner that will enable us to be better than we could ever be alone. He will prepare a way for us to overcome our trials and temptations.
***
As I prayed about this talk, I was strongly impressed to share our current experience with you. The more I've thought about this, the more I see the Lord's hand in our lives. We are so blessed. When Matthew's father died, we were blessed with an amount of inheritance that we had earmarked for certain things like a family vacation, repairs for the house, and savings. At the time Matthew was working and going to school full-time and rarely had a Sunday off. Such a schedule is challenging on many levels, so after much discussion we decided that he would approach his manager about getting Sundays off. The result was a two-day work week with Sundays off and more time to focus on school. We planned to supplement our income for just a few months with our savings until Matthew graduated and could pursue a full-time military career. Unfortunately more time passed than we'd have liked and the only thing that changed was the amount of money in our savings account. Job hunting was yielding no return. I suggested to Matthew that it was time we took the matter to the Lord. As we prayed that evening, I could tell that Matthew received direction. The answer he received was
Matthew 6:31-34:
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 ... for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself...."
My inner response was, 'Great. I'll keep praying.'
From this vantage point, I can see the Lord's hand in preparing a way long ago. In 2007 I received my first request to teach piano lessons. I was in my last trimester of pregnancy with Aaron and was in no way ready to teach, but it did plant a seed. The Christmas program the choir prepared in 2008 really challenged my level of piano skills and by the end of that experience I was a better player (and a better person). As a result of that program, I again began getting requests to teach piano lessons. I did research about teaching and felt completely unqualified and inadequate. One of my friends would not give up on me though, so I took the matter to the Lord. His response was that I should do it. So I did. I held my first piano lesson at the end of last April and by the end of May had eight students. By Christmas my students numbered 12. In January it became obvious that we would need to start utilizing my piano earnings to supplement Matthew's income. We had enough savings left to make it through two more months. I am grateful for a persistent friend and the Lord’s confidence in my abilities so that we had that extra income to fall back on. I began wondering if I should take on more students and try to work with more advanced students even though I've limited my students to beginners. The two months passed and I got nervous when two of my students decided they no longer wanted to pursue piano, but two days later I received a phone call from a young man who wanted to take lessons. A week after that I received another call for a current student to go from twice a month lessons to weekly. These calls truly were answers to prayer. The Lord continues to prepare the way as He directs me in new avenues to pursue with my piano teaching.
At the beginning of March, Matthew got a call from his Army Reserve unit asking him to come in and work for two days that week. And three days the week after. And two days before his drill weekend. Spring break is a busy time on the river, so Matthew received a call from his supervisor asking if he would be willing to work this Sunday. Matthew told him no, but he could work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The end result was 13 straight days of working plus two days of double shifts. The Lord has provided a way for us.
We had a discussion with Jared recently about what makes Sunday special. In that talk we told him that when we choose to go to the store on Sunday or ride the tour boats on the river walk (in Matthew's case), we make it so others have to work and not be able to keep the Sabbath day holy. As Matthew explained to Jared how he was able to get Sunday off, I learned that the only way was to go part time. It is an exercise of faith to give up your full-time status and its benefits so that you can have Sundays off. The Lord promised us that 'if ye first seek the kingdom of God, all these things shall be added unto you'. I testify that He has clothed us through the generosity of others and a desire to use cloth diapers 5 years ago; He has fed us with a generous gift card received from work at Christmas work and with an effort to prepare our meals using our food storage; the morrow has been taken care of with the talents and skills He blessed us with and we developed along the way.
My heart overflows with gratitude as my eyes are opened up to even more ways that He has helped us for this moment. And I recognize now that the expression of gratitude also increases our faith. Over the last few weeks my prayers have been ones of gratitude with little asking in return. As I think about it, those have been the weeks when the Lord has poured His blessings on us. Perhaps there is a lesson in that.
As my eyes are opened to all the moments where the Lord touched and blessed our lives even in sorrow and hardship, how can I not dedicate my life to Him? How can I not say, Thy will be done? How can I not trust that His way is the best way?
Again I testify, the Lord knows us. He loves us. Jesus is the Christ. He atoned for our sins and paid the price for the ends of the law to be satisfied that mercy may have effect. As we exercise faith in Jesus, He will meet us and magnify us. I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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